Mantelpiece + heatsource = fireplace. Therefore it needs logs. Similarly, I have a drawing of a Jacuzzi over the puddle on my kitchen floor where the ice dispenser leaks, which I say makes it a hot tub, and therefore my "SHOWERS REQUIRED" sign makes total sense.
Oh dear. I was trying to come up with a sleazy house rule for some swinger with a hot tub, and stumbled onto this page, which includes the information that "Our complimentary buffet blows away every Swinger Club in Orlando, with entrees including items such as shrimp, oysters, chocolate covered fruits, fondues, sushi, etc." and now I'm too disturbed to continue my research. Oysters, chocolate-covered strawberries, whatever, like you can tell the difference.
(Found by Sue. And just to be clear: the pink room above is NOT from a club for wife-swappers. Or husband-swappers. Or pet-swappers. Or houseplant-swappers... as far as I know.)