Sunday, August 23, 2009

If Jeremy Clarkson wrote real estate listings


"The majority of the basement is covered in black mold and in biblical proportions," says this listing found by Matt. And I have nothing contumelious to say about it, because they've been admirably honest in the description. "Not for the faint of heart or respiratory system!" -- well, there's just no improving that, is there?

So maybe sometimes people do things just right. And we don't mock them. We just sit back and stare at the mold in awe... and wonder how that house ever ended up submerged in a canal.

12 comments:

Jennifer A. said...

And I bet in 6 months this house shows up on Flip that House with an owner stunned how much professional mold removal costs and does it themselves.

Argyle said...

I can smell the mold.

Glory von Hathor said...

Almost, almost. If it had really been by Clarkson there would have been something derogatory towards women or gypsies.

Anonymous said...

They don't have any choice but to be honest about that mess.

It's a toxic hazard and they are legally to warn people in advance.

It gives me a headache just looking at the picture.

Shari said...

"Almost, almost. If it had really been by Clarkson there would have been something derogatory towards women or gypsies."

...or Americans. :)

Land of shimp said...

Whoa. What happened?!? That doesn't occur overnight, and it is everywhere! That's not the result of a burst pipe left unattended.

Serious points to the listing agent for not only being honest (which legally is required) but for showing a sense of humor/flair for language use.

Cute use of terms like "biblical proportions" aside, go ahead and term it as being sold for land value only. Knock it down, and start over. This time skip a basement because damn.

I'm sure you could get rid of that mold for a king's ransom, but you'd spend every waking and dreaming moment waiting for it to come back because seriously, that is not the result of some kind of "Hey, the tub overflowed, and by the time we were going downstairs to get the Christmas decorations? This had happened."

That's the result of some deep, down structural "Come in moisture, come in!" flaw.

I'm totally freaked out over here.

Dawn said...

Oh my. I didn't know the walls would be carpeted as well.

Erika said...

I assumed this was from a state that recently had floods, but no - it's in my home state of Washington.

"agent has no direct knowledge of cause" is a pretty chilling phrase. Mystery mold! Translated: Kill the mold all you want, it'll probably come back!

Heather said...

Wow. That's a lot of mold. I wonder if it had ever been a grow-op?

rita said...

The land alone is valued at $255,000 and the asking price is $209,000. That says a lot. THe other amazing thing is that it sold just one month ago for over $300,000. Uh?

Anonymous said...

"Bring a gas mask" :)

Tina said...

who doesn't take a gas mask when looking for a home??