Saturday, April 11, 2009

Time to check your carbon monoxide detector's batteries

Ah, New Zealand, you never let me down.

Fiona found this disturbing scene. I think that the stove stunned the chairs while their backs were turned, causing them to pass out face-first. There's really no other explanation. But what will the stove do now, if it can escape the jail it's being held in? And what's that weird other alcove to the left? And why do listings from New Zealand all look so vibrant and computer-generated? Does New Zealand really exist? Has anyone actually been there?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think this is my favorite post thus far. This is up there with the summer vacation story from Chair lmao.

Chazya said...

poor stove, what did it ever do to deserve being caged like a wild beast?

those chairs arnt passed out, they are doing the downward dog...Yoga!

I think this whole scene is a form of self expression, yay digital media, I hope this art students bets a "B" for their efforts!

hahaha

Glory von Hathor said...

Before I started reading this blog I was a nice girl. Now all I see are two fully grown chairs breast feeding from a settee.

And a stove in timeout.

Larkspur said...

I love ILITI's wonderful furniture world. Aren't you pretty darn sure that all of this happens around midnight, when the chairs and sofas and pots and pans and all the other much weirder stuff in the photos start dancing? I am being much kinder to my own furniture these days. I am not afraid of my furniture, but now I get that they have feelings, too. Especially the chairs.

PS: Glory von Hathor, you are highlarious!

John said...

That NZ site you linked to is wonderful! They have a house for sale that has a "grammar zone." I imagine a room where everyone knows the difference between "who" and "whom" and I want to live there.

John said...

After Googling a bit I see that the "grammar zone" is a section of Auckland. Which is more fabulous, in its way. Since the listing didn't capitalize it as a place name, however, my confusion is understandable!

Lulu LaBonne said...

I got all upset thinking the chairs were on their knees being held hostage, now I get what's really going on after Glory's explanation... now I'm disturbed

I have been to NZ and it is seriously wierd - people live in this la la land of leaving their doors unlocked, trusting each other, being pleasant... they chat to strangers for gods sakes

Stuart said...

The computer tower on the floor by the suckling chairs answers the question of whether or not New Zealand is actually stuck in 1973, so the question remains: have any furniture stores remained in business after 1973?

And its nice too no there in a grammar zone. Thats a good thing.

(that physically hurt to type)

Austen said...

I knew a girl in college who went to New Zealand for six months but she was a serious druggie so it's possible she made it all up.

Actually, isn't New Zealand a part of Middle Earth? I remember they went there in Lord of the Rings.

Artful Dodger said...

Think a minute folks! NZ is part way down under. Those chairs are right side up, but because the room is tilted to make up for the earth's curvature.... Oh, never mind.

Anita said...

I've not only been there, I lived there for the first 32 years of my life. And that house reminds me so much of my Nana's house - even though she lives in the South Island.....right down to the comatose chairs.

Sharon said...

Ok, you asked. I'm a New Zealand lurker, in New Zealand (and no drugs in my system today except caffeine and chocolate).

-New Zealand does exist. I'm pretty sure of that.
-Your comment about the vibrancy of the pictures is interesting, they look normal to me. I have noted that American listings sometimes seem a little dull. Maybe it's our camera settings. Our tourism board would like you to think it's our beautiful clear air.
-The style of home and furniture is pretty normal- for senior citizens (in original condition) and student flats (in very bad condition). You can buy very similar furniture very cheaply at second hand stores, as most of us have moved on.
-The grammar zone refers to a popular school district. Auckland Grammar School is a boys-only private school.
-I think the furniture is probably up like that for cleaning. A practise that, along with the style of the furniture, leads me to believe that my Grandmother may actually have had two homes.

Inspiration Home Staging said...

Hilarious!

Bea said...

I would have laughed to...then I moved to New Zealand. And moved into a house with no heating. Now I too have a living room with stove.

How far from grace I have fallen.

Anonymous said...

It looks like a scene from a David Lynch movie. Just add a dancing midget in the corner.

Amaia said...

You know, I never thought about it that way, but NZ is kind of vibrant, in a computer-generated kind of way. With sheep.

Anonymous said...

photo is vibrant because the UV is so bright. yes nz does exist!

Leighcat said...

Yeah NZ does exist. Most of the time. This house is in Dunedin - a city in the South Island famous for making university students live in houses like this one in character-building damp and cold. The 'alcove' on the left is probably a ridiculously small and now built over open fireplace, replaced by the wood stove. We Kiwis like "wood burners", but we put them behind bars to stop university students falling on them when they are drunk at parties - which would damage the stove.

Anonymous said...

Because I am so ridiculously pedantic, I have to point out that Auckland Grammar School is a state school, not a private school.

Melanie said...

I am laughing so hard I can barely type! Your blog makes Monday a bearable day ! I now know what LOL really stands for !

Selina said...

This is hilarious! I'm a New Zealander, I grew up in Dunedin, where this house is, and in my teens lived in a series of houses almost exactly like this one (many of them in the same neighbourhood). But what's really scary, I think those chairs used to belong to me - although I remember them being right way up!