Thursday, July 2, 2009

No no no no no no no


Sorry about how bleak the sink with the razor was in that listing down there. How about this to cheer you up? Look! Clowns! Jenny found some clowns! Aren't you happy now? Whee?

(If you need me, I'll be hiding under my covers. Let me know when they're gone, please.)

48 comments:

Christy said...

I haven't even clicked on the link and already I find this to be the most terrifying listing ever. If I somehow walked into that house not having seen the pictures beforehand, I'd run screaming to my car.

blake said...

Aaaaah. That is so incredibly creepy.
It has to be hard with guests, since a fear of clowns is more common than people (me) expect.

The clown behind the pool table looks kinda like David Bowie.
(now i have the song "bowies in space" in my head from flight of the conchords)

Anonymous said...

Did you notice the scythe leaning against the wall in the second picture? If you look just below that, there is another "person."

Jorg said...

Yes, BUT! If you suddenly find yourself in flames on the couch, there is a convenient fire extinguisher to help you prevent damage to the upholstry. I say buy it!

Land of shimp said...

Way to make it look like the house from Poltergeist, redecorated and updated. What makes it particularly unnerving is that the rest of the decorating looks positively normal. What is the owner doing? Trying to menace teens dating his daughter into behaving themselves?

"It's nice to meet you, Ted. I expect you to be home by eleven sharp." Nodding pleasantly as maniacal clown leers in the background.

Leigh said...

And that same "person" that's under the scythe is also in the first picture and he's LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.

Anonymous said...

I've never gotten goosebumps from a listing until now. yikes! I'm glad I don't go to bed for another 12 hours, maybe I'll be able to forget about this one.

John said...

"Mommy, that dead girl is in the billiards room again."

Athena Misty, aka "GeekGirl" said...

THat girl doesn't even look like a clown. She looks like some Japanese horror film come to life.

Anonymous said...

@Leigh - Although both sets of couches are red, I believe they are two different rooms. Notice the different coffe table. It appears there are three "visitors" in that home. Well, three "visitors" that we can see...wonder who or what else will be there if we tour?

Decadent Housewife said...

Talk about unwanted company.

rockygrace said...

Great ..... I'm never gonna sleep again ......

coral said...

OMG I'm gonna have nightmares about this one! I don't even think I could take that listing! Yes check out that 3rd picture I missed the scythe but saw the head looking up from the floor. The one behind the pool table looks like the girl from the Exorcist.

dissimilitude said...

Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.

If it wasn't for the clown infestation....it's a nice enough house! Maybe if the owners would throw in extermination prior to closing.

Claire said...

I don't think those are clowns. I think they are the ghosts of clowns, these clowns. I think the owner murdered them. Anyone who moves into this house is going to need a ghost clown exorcism.

knitorpurl said...

What are these people thinking? And why would the realtor not insist on moving those?

That is positively creepy. "Shows better than a model" the listing says. But when was the last time people ran screaming from a model home?

bubbledumpster said...

if you check out the picture of the kitchen, you can view the third visitor from a different, much more disturbing, angle.

jessperelle said...

That is positively the most horrifying thing I've seen in a long long time. Seriously, they couldn't have thrown a sheet over the clowns? I'd prefer a sheet-ghost to a clown ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

Anonymous said...

I bet the neighbors will be thrilled when that craziness is gone...

Laura said...

Mommy, I'm scared.

I'll need therapy to get over this listing.

Canaduck said...

AUGH WHAT THE HELL?

Anonymous said...

Ok. That is seriously the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Reminds me of "IT". Ugh. What were these people thinking??

"Hey Honey, how should we decorate these rooms?"

"I know! Let's add some really creepy looking clowns"

"Great idea!"

And WHY is there a bicycle in the house? They have a garage...

Maybe the clowns take it out for a spin at night.

Glory von Hathor said...

Hold my hand, Chair.

I'm afraid.

(It's only a listing. It's only a listing.)

PrincessLuceval said...

And if you look at the first picture, the one taken of the kitchen, you see just a head in the next room, on the floor. And why does there have to be a little mirror on the floor in the bathroom? Why, for the little Zuni voodoo doll that lives there, obviously!

Angel said...

Whyyyyyyy??? That seriously creepy!

I want my mummy...

Ash said...

My problem is, it makes absolutely no sense. I can't get my brain around why there are these intensely creepy "things" just hanging out in this house when everything else looks totally normal.

It's totally disturbing. Give me the flying vampire, coffin and noose in the "grunge" house any day. At least it all made sense.

dangermike said...

Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me... Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me... Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me... Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me... Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me...

Bryan said...

Horrifying. Simply horrifying. Maybe the realtor didn't see "them". Maybe they only show up on film. Either way, I'm making sure all the doors are locked. Right now.

Land of shimp said...

I think you're right, Ash. The creepiness is intensified by the fact that it is otherwise normally decorated. When it's an entire theme, like that condo in Phoenix a while back, it's seems more kitschy and less creepy.

It also makes it even more peculiar that the real estate agent didn't simply move the darned things. It's a short sale, so that means the owner is at least theoretically invested in trying to sell their home, and save their credit.

Hey, you know what would help with that?!? Get rid of the stuff from the House of the Rising Phobia.

Anonymous said...

I was all "look, it's a perfectly cute living room. Why's it on here?" and then I saw the clown. That is seriously creepy. WHY would you do that?

Angel said...

Hang on! I've been thinking about this all day.

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Beetlejuice, sitting on a keg of TNT. And WHAT is that silver object to the left of the sofa?? Could it be some kind of canister? Of what... do you suppose?

This has got to be a joke.

drjim said...

She looks like Pris from "Blade Runner"!

jendajen said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Tony Paul said...

Really Sarah this listing beats all the others on the top ten freakyness list....
Now I was thinking, there is no real way to tell if they are representations or real people, which is what I find really creepy.

Tony Paul said...

PS,
I just showed the original posting to a friens via Messenger, and he found the explanaition for the contrast between the, um, "clowns" and the rest of the house.
Those people ARE the owners, shown comfortably welcoming us into their wonderfully ordinary pad.

See?

you can all sleep now.
Nighty Night.

:-)

Jenn said...

I'd burn this house down before I'd live in it. Looking up clown phobia a few years ago I came across one of the most inadvertently funny things I've ever read. It was the website of CTRN and included their "Trusted, Effective Treatment for Clown Phobia". Unfortunately they've changed the site but I found a blurb of the original here:

http://blograma.blogspot.com/2005/08/trusted-effective-treatment-for-clown_24.html

lovetheliz said...

wait...those arent like people dressed up right? I assume they are dolls....

this is so bizarre.

n-i-g-h-t-m-a-r-e-s

Tim said...

Oooo that is just so creepy. What's even odder is that there is a bicycle in the last pic, when of course we all know that clowns ride unicycles.

Anonymous said...

I literally jumped when I hit the second picture. Zombie Clown Girl there is just beyond creepy. I can't bring myself to click on the listing link--I'd like to get to sleep some time this century.

Anonymous said...

This blog could exist for 50 years (hope it does! LOVE) and there would be no end to the examples of idiot realtors' photos. Possible explanation btw: the owner tidied up and decorated the house for Halloween, took photos, and because the house was so tidy in those pictures the lazy realtor used those photos instead of cleaning up again and taking new ones. I've seen that before, Winter exteriors or Christmas photos in a listing in July. Just makes me wonder what most of America's homes look like if people can't be bothered to clean the house when they're attempting to earn six figures selling what is for most the biggest investment they've ever made in their lives.

Anonymous said...

These are people who took the song "Send in the Clowns" too seriously.

Angel said...

Imagine if the owners had listened to the realtor's advice and put the creepy clowns away... say, oh I don't know, in a closet...

~chuckles at mental image~

Anonymous said...

Say I just noticed something else that is creepy ... are those weapons on the wall near the mirror in the living room?

It's all so bizarre but should appeal nicely to gothics, especially if the oddities are included with the house as a package deal.

Rin said...

I thought it was a joke. I mean those two clowns look like kids dressed as clowns, especially the girl by the curtain.

Maybe, for some weird reason they thought it would be funny to scare people a little, and have them talk about it. Words get around and it would be like the talk of the town. And like spooky hotels or haunted towns supernatural hunters will always be there and the haunted house/hotel becomes the main attraction.

BTW that 'David Bowie' under the scythe is, IMHO, definitely only a bust and it doesn't look creepy at all.

Ash said...

Those are SERIOUSLY creepy. I mean, I don't know which would be worse: If they were actually dressed up for those photos, or if they were manakins. I think manakins. Anyone who'd want that look permanently in their pool room has some pretty whacked out taste.

Emily, et. al. said...

Mortifying!!

Coree said...

Dammit...I am home alone on and just looking at this freaked me out! WTF?! Why wouldn't the realtor remove them?! Are they nuts?! Jeez....I hope my husband comes home soon!

Anonymous said...

OMG...I'm not normally afraid of clowns...but this is too freaky!...notice the girl at the window is holding a baby doll too...creepy...can't imagine anyone is bidding on that place...