Thursday, July 2, 2009

Welcome to Sunny Florida *sobs*


Oh, God. You could buy this house and then kill yourself, or you could just kill yourself now and save yourself the closing costs. This is as cheery as it gets, despite being almost one million bucks, in Palm Beach, and steps from the beach.

(Found by Melissa.)

22 comments:

Elia said...

*gasp* Peg. Board. Kitchen. Cabinets. Ugh! *shudder*

Meredith said...

It still boggles my mind that a house that's barely even inhabitable (did you see all 25 photos??) can sell for $895,000!! Judging by the condition of the bathrooms and kitchen, that place would need to be completely torn down and rebuilt. I find it especially humorous when people who are trying to sell their house can't even be bothered to move their piles of junk out of the way before taking photos!

Anonymous said...

I don't find the idea of suicide tasteful. Poor choice of words!

Anonymous said...

Yes, the place is a mess and the condition of the shower makes my skin crawl, but they made the beds! Go figure!

Christy said...

More clutter! Why?! Why can't people move their clutter (or...gasp...clean!)before taking their listing pictures? :sob:

I wonder if the razor picture was just a suggestion from the realtor. A subtle kind of warning...
He/she appears to be warning us all throughout the listing. The nasty stain on the kitchen wall next to the dirty old stove. The peeling wallpaper in the bathroom. The (what looks like) mildewed/lime stained tile in the bathtub...

Land of shimp said...

Whoa, how much would it be listed for if it wasn't a spectacular dump?

At least try to spruce it up a little. Start with a dumpster. Don't stop until you see daylight peeking through.

Anonymous said...

is it a foreclosure? That's the only reason I can think of for leaving your hairy razors and barbasol in the pics. WTF?

Anonymous said...

Good grooming was very important to the former owners.

Wendy said...

Did they not know that they were getting pictures taken that day? Or is that what it looks like when tidied up?

knitorpurl said...

Maybe the realtor is showing all those detailed pictures in hopes that no one will ask to see the house and he won't have to go back!

mudslicker said...

The location is primo.

If Poseidon and I had a cushy relationship, I'd take out a boatload of insurance on the place and then make a few votive offerings during hurricane season.

Problem solved!

Cellar Door said...

The outdoor photos are nice. Well, one of them is.

Anonymous said...

They probably figured it doesn't matter what it looks like because if you can afford the lot, you'll remodel the house anyway!

Angel said...

Soap scum! I LOVE soap scum! SOLD!

slashes left wrist

And what up in the bedroom? Excuse me while I crawl over the bed (cringe) to get out the patio door. Oh, it won't open? The bed's too close? Damn.

slashes right wrist

Christine said...

Nearly $900K for a place that needs gutting???!!! OK, OK, it has the Palm Beach address...and as the folks always told me, better to have a crackerbox in Palm Beach than to have a Mansion in cracktown. Or something like that.

Land of shimp said...

That's genius, knitorpurl! Seriously, those incredibly detailed photos make it far more likely that someone will buy the place sight unseen, and simply contract a wrecking.

Jano said...

I love the realtor's picture. He's doing that classic cross-armed pose that given the pictures of the house looks rather like a shrug as if to say, "Meh...what else can I do about this dump?"

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else notice what appears to be the knife on the ledge of the bathtub in picture 19? The emerging theme is certainly disturbing!

Anonymous said...

Roger & Tanya from the next location for Sell This House.

I agree, the OTHER pics of the bathrooms are truly scary.

et

jackie31337 said...

Appropriately enough, this is approximately what the inside of the noose house looked like. Of course, that one wasn't going for nearly a million dollars.

Melissa said...

Grim. Just grim. Couldn't pay me to use the bathrooms.

Anonymous said...

Madoff, anyone??