Friday, February 13, 2009

You have much luck with that?


Found on delete yourself (<-- possibly not safe for work, or breakfast) by Tristan: this sexxy studio apartment. Nothing says "I'm getting lucky tonight" like painting "clothes off!" or "f*ck me I'm famous" on the walls. But more to the point -- how much does a gallon of white paint cost? It's a studio apartment (with 2.5 rooms, in the intriguing style of NYC listings). It would take, what, one morning to slap some paint over those mottoes.

Ah well, maybe the next buyer of the $399,000 studio will be just as happy to nestle into his or her bed under the inspiring call to arms of "sexx laws." (Can I be reading that right? What does that mean? Is it a 1984 reference?)

Here's the worst part: that "*" in the "f*ck." So timid, so pointless. I hate half-assed swearing. Go hard or go home, that's what I say!

Wait, you already are home.

I see your problem.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You would think the real estate agent would require the owner to paint over the ridiculous sayings on the walls?!? I would refuse to show this offensive and overpriced apartment.

apronk said...

Does that say "Vogue is magazine?"

How does that get anyone naked?

Poor grammar makes me put my clothes back *on*.

webbie said...

But, don't you want to go to the open house this Sunday?

I really want to know about the dining table (?). What is that on the bottom of the legs?

tinackp said...

This is a perfect listing for Valentine's Day!

Anonymous said...

"Sexx Laws" is a single off of Beck's album "Midnight Vultures". A good song, for sure, but not really worthy of wall space.

PrincessLuceval said...

"God is a OJ"? I'm taking my clothes off right now!

Meredith said...

Half of those are phrases and half are song titles.....still I can't figure out why they'd need to be on my walls, haha.

"Sexx laws" on your wall = weird
Beck poster = a-ok.

julien said...

I think that all those are song titles or parties names ("God is a DJ" is a song by Faithless, "100% VIP" is a song by Philippe Katerine, "F*ck me, I'm famous" is the name of various parties held by French DJ David Guetta, "Clothes off" is a song by Gym Class Heroes, etc.)

I guess that the owner wanted to prove that he was a nolife with a huge knowledge in music... (wait a second... what does the fact that I also know all that says about me?)

Dani said...

Do you realise that "Go hard or go home" could be painted up ther and go with the rest of the sayings.

PrincessLuceval said...

Perhaps he wrote "f*ck" because he knew his mom was going to come over and that's the guest room. He didn't want to offend her.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how incredibly drunk/high/in some other way altered a person would have to be to find any of those sayings to be a turn on, but I'm guessing it would cause the mind to boggle.

So we aren't supposed to speculate about the class of the people in these houses, right? Uh, what if they have basically...none?

The Office Scribe said...

What about the contraditcion...

One saying is "F*ck me I'm famous" while on another wall the saying it "Almost Famous".

I can imagine the chick being like "Okay, I'll sleep with you since you are famous...wait a minute, almost famous. That gets you nothing..."

Ricki Lee Hodges said...

Hahaha.. those look like they are vinyl appliques, which will peel right off (I have some in my bedroom... none of which require asterisks)

Moongrl722 said...

LOL @ Princess L -- what if that IS the guestroom???

Lauren said...

Ewww...maybe the $677/month maintenance fee goes to switching out the phrases each month

Anonymous said...

All of those ridiculous sayings and that red bed spread do not say "player" to me. Instead they scream "I watch a lot of porn."

Lady Oblada said...

Jeez...nevermind the unappealing words/phrases, why choose such an UNSEXY typeface?

burhanistan said...

If you look closely you can see more aphorisms reflected in the mirror. I can't make that one out, but I'd like to think it has something to do with fornication or dance music, or hopefully both.

ShinydayZ said...

Julien is right (all these sentences are technomusic song or/and name of musical evenneements)... and the * in "f*ck" is exactly like in the advertising for these parties of David Guetta in Disco "Queen" in Paris. The bad taste for decoration is still here ...

Anonymous said...

The listing says: "A unique studio with two level layout." Sadly, in NYC, 3 steps counts as a whole other level. I lived in one of these places... I never would have called the kitchen area "upstairs". Then again, I'm too cheap to buy a room for $340,000 so what do I know.