Friday, November 7, 2008

Hi!



Do you come with the house? I do not know how I feel about that. "Tenative agreements with tenants to move out" sounds... complicated.

The man above is from the additional bit here, along with many shots of a fridge with a lock on it and general squalor and poverty. I have to say, it would take a certain kind of person to see these photos and think "Yes! This is a world I want to be involved with, in a landlord sort of way!" EDIT: And, on further reflection, it also takes a certain kind of person to see the listing and think "I'll put this on my humor blog!" Whoops.

Found by Thaddius.

24 comments:

Simply Resistable said...

I gave a coat to a homeless man outside of my office yesterday, I think it might have been the same guy.

On a side note, there is not enough bleach in this world to ever clean that house to my satisfaction.

Kara said...

This one just makes me feel incredibly sad, I have to say.

RobMonroe said...

Best part is that they just tagged the photos onto their family account, so you can look at their vacation photos and pictures of their children. That's pretty concening to me - I will never list my address on a site that I link to pictures of my daughter.

(Per instructions - I'm trying not to speculate on teir parenting skills, but I really can't help it.)

Anonymous said...

Raw meat sitting on a dirty counter next to Soft Scrub with bleach, next to a child's sippy cup.

That turned my stomach.

Mindy said...

What is that in picture #15? Do I want to know? I stopped looking at #40. I couldn't take anymore.

Anonymous said...

I assumed the owner(s) didn't live in the building.

Gamzulatov said...

Hey what the heck?

This made me sad?!?!

jen. said...

In San Francisco, there is no such thing as an easy way to get tenants out of your rental. It takes months to go through the courts PLUS you have to pay a huge amount to the tenant for the inconvenience of them having to move. Man, I miss living there!

Anonymous said...

Picture #29 with the guy's pot and rolling papers is my favorite. Oh yeah - I want to be THAT landlord...Not.

FoxyMoron said...

Wait.....this is a humour blog?
That guy looks like a garden gnome, is that another Noo Zulland listing?

Meg said...

The owner of the building should be forced to live there for six months.

I will say that the tub and toilet in the blue bathroom are remarkably clean for the current state of the house.

*jen ~ Fifty-Cent Head said...

Squalor, indeed.

I am surprised, however, that the magic staircase didn't jump out at anyone!
http://picasaweb.google.com/mansfieldkimbro/Bennington2?authkey=5jyE82ZMvu0&pli=1#5230462746057098738
You can walk up like normal, on the top, or ride a bike up the bottom side.

Sara said...

I try, foxymoron, I try...

Stuart said...

I had to look at my browser bar to make sure I didn't accidentally click on "It's Slumly, I'll Take It!"

On a bright note, it has a nice little courtyard with all your entertainment needs like cherubs, Tiki torches, tires, a can of Sterno and a sock, chairs ...

leftyfro said...

Wow.

I'm surprised I didn't see a marketing line like "Perfect starter for a slumlord!"

Wendy said...

Oh geez, what's wrong with me that I don't think it's all that bad? Especially for San Francisco. I can't spot the pot & rolling papers. Pictures 90-102 seem to be a nice space.
And #28 is a pretty arty photo. ;)

Brandy said...

Hmm, I know in LA that you can evict all tenants when you buy a property if you and your family are going to be using it as a primary residence.... Not sure if that's California law...

Funny, my husband has a vacant in-law as well!

Chris said...

I don't think I've ever seen so many pictures of a property ... but at least you can't say that the sellers didn't warn you!

Marytoo said...

Is this guy one of the vacant in-laws? I'm dumbstruck!!!

P.S. Wendy, you've been in San Francisco waaaaay too long!

Jackie said...

Looks like some sort of boarding house...or a case for eviction and immediate Protective Services involvement! I've seen worse in my line of duty but Good Lord, that's nasty!

FonHom said...

@wendy - re pot & rolling papers in #29 - they're on the far left, in a shallow black plate or bowl. I didn't see it either until sharp-eyed anonymous pointed it out.

#29 is one of my favorites because of the composition. The blue (heavenly) suitcase open, denotes preparation for a journey. (I don't think anyone's unpacking into that mess.) The well-worn "PEACE" t-shirt, hanging in a place of pride on the wall. The pot accessories in a lower position to the side provide a hint about what may have led to the current circumstances.

The first photo in Christmas 2007 is equally fascinating. A charming swaddled Madonna and child scenario. As Madonna dips into some Kirkland salted nuts, all seems well. Yet...our eyes are drawn to the dollar taped to the wall over their heads, and their attention is focused on something to the left. Is it another person, a television, or - most unsettling - the purse at Madonna's feet - Mammon?

Nicole said...

Did these photos concern anyone else, in that they seemed not so much to be photos of the space but photos of people's crap taking UP the space?

They kinda broke my heart to be honest... ah, American poverty.

And what's with the 13 (exaggeration) photos of doors?!

"You can escape here.. and here.. and here.. and run into the other apartment here.. or here."

Hayley said...

I usually read your blog and laugh until it hurts, but this one, I am afraid, is a real downer. I agree with Kara. It just makes me incredibly sad too.

Wombatish said...

@Wendy

Pictures 92-100ish are for sure the remodel.

I would probably live there if it looked like that, and were reasonable.

I would however, have to have -never- seen the previous photos :P