Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Holland: Land of Tanning Beds

This houseboat was found by Sue, who thinks it's a retirement home for circus folk. The tent-like roof; the King Tut mask; the mirrors; where to begin? (Click through for the bathroom with the wall mounted TV, the tanning bed, and the gnomes and Native American Buddha around the tub.) But oddly enough, my eye is caught by the flower arrangement above. Are those two fly swatters sticking out of it?

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Retirement home for clowns - when they die they won't need a casket. They'll already have a satin lined eternal resting place. YIKES!

Simply Resistable said...

I've never given much thought to my inability to speak Hollish, now I wish I could so I could read the descriptions of that house.

I'm pretty sure I saw that living room on an episode of Trading Spaces- one of the ones where the homeowner burst into tears at the sheer horror at what had been done to their home.

Mortimer's Mom said...

a Disco Ball! there is a fan AND a disco ball on the ceiling of the dining/living room!

Andra said...

The disco ball/ ying yang rug in the living(?) room! The half finished Lion King rip-off mural! The lion taxidermy in the kids' room!
It is heaven! And it's settled, I am moving to Holland.

Karen said...

I personally liked the mirrored ball and discotheque lighting in the living room ....

Amanda said...

not only one but 2 disco balls in the living room. When they aren't being the best parents on earth to the kid in the lion king rip off room, they are being the best swingers in town. Just drop your keys in the bowl!

Anonymous said...

It has almost EVERYTHING... except the 'Saturday Night Fever' floor in the kitchen. Carpet ?

Mombi said...

Okay, I finally want to say, "That's lovely! I'll take it!"

It will be my bizarre circus house! I can't wait to have tea with the bearded lady and elephant boy!

Anonymous said...

It that a doll perched on the toilet next to the shower?

Lizard said...

I'm puzzled by the decor mostly looking like it is that of, um, older folks, but the cute modern red couch and the kids' room there. That confuses me terribly. And all the pictures of the water. I can understand that you want to communicate the pretty waterway it's on, but there were an awful lot of pictures of water with boats that were not the houseboat.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! It's like all your blog entries all piled into one!!!! See the king tut masks are like that awful Egyptian condo! And the ceiling is that weird tented room. *shudder*

Jen C said...

"Hm. What about a jungle animal mural for the kids' room. You start at that end and I'll start at this end."

Well, I guess Tigger is technically a jungle animal and you could stretch the Hundred Acre Wood into a jungle, if you squinted. A lot.

Josie said...

I think it's fitting that the elephant looks like he's a litle seasick.

Leslie said...

Ok, I have to admit that I don't speak Dutch, and ask which button to click to see more pictures...I can't stop at just one!! :)

caramaena said...

Lizard, since it's a houseboat I figured the pictures of the boat going by were to show how little the waves were??

All I can say is omg! a disco ball!

Anonymous said...

Pffff,...I would like to see your house....!

Sara said...

Anonymous: my house has shown up here a few times, but you're missing the point.

It isn't that people have bad taste, or messy houses, or large dogs: it's that they include photos of these things in the listings, which are supposed to make their houses appealing.

JM said...

How about that coffee table with all the little coffee tables underneath it? It reminds me of those toads that carry their babies in disgusting holes all over their backs, until they erupt like pimples. Pimples with toads in them. It also, simultaneously, reminds me of opossums. Horrible.

Kristy said...

Sara...."some" anonymous people have no balls. I think annonymous is the dude that owns this house. lol I don't want to see your house....and I'm sure if you were to ever sell one you'd have an amazing set of photographs for sure!!

Glory von Hathor said...

This houseboat was 98% likely designed by Homer Simpson.

If there is a fridge next to the toilet, then we know for sure.

Let's Partaaaay!

PollyAnna said...

Couldn't stand it!! Here's the description translation from Babel Fish:

On a lake than fancy location to the Where, with fantastic view you find these very wide woonark, located to through water. The Ark, built in 1999, has woonoppervlak of wide 190 m2, divided concerning 2 woonlagen. Onderverdieping: This floor is from the hall by means of a fixed staircase contactable. YOU meet here two very wide sleep chambers, three smaller slaap-/werkkamers and a more technical space with s.v. - Unit (1999) and a new sewer pump (2007). The parent sleep chambers are approximately 5 x 6 meters large.

Bovenverdieping: By means of midden-entree come in you by means of the hall the woonark. From this hall are a wasruimte, separate toilet, wide bathroom, the open L-vormige kitchen and living room contactable. Entirely paved the bathroom has been carried out with whirlpool, shower, toilet, sauna and double wash-hand basins. The open kitchen in L-vorm have been established with kookeiland and provide with several deduction from public service pension to allow for simultaneous payment of $AOW equipment. By means of schuifpui, from the wide living room with hearth the large terrace of approximately 16 x is 2.50 meters contactable.

Garden: In the wide garden are themselves a pair wooden storage. The terrace is himself on the south side of the Ark and is located to through water with mainly pleasure speed. Commonly: The Ark has been built in 1999, by Spruyt Arkenbouw and has been carried out as betonnen a barge with wooden airframe. The advancement of saves Cedar with a bituminous has been covered plat roof. The Ark has been isolated entirely and provides with hardwoods windows and casings with isolating glazing. The bovenverdieping has been carried out with a woongrind floor with floor heating. The electric installation has been extended to no less than 16 groups with earth leakage circuit breaker. The Ark has been connected on all going public utilities, including connection on the network of town heating. Moreover the sewer pump has been replaced in 2007.

Sara said...

Thanks for straightening that all out, PollyAnna.

Meg said...

This is the European country where hash is legal, right? I'm just sayin' is all.

Stuart said...

Yes, but does the bovenverdieping come with its own schuifpui, or does the vanderpflugnenhaar need a separate plurndigger? These are important things to know.

ptooie said...

"In the wide garden are themselves a pair wooden storage"? Shucks! They were painted such lovely colors I thought it was a playhouse for the children when they escaped from the jungle!

Mrs.RGS said...

I had to remind myself that you said there was a tanning bed because as first glance at that photo I thought it was a coffin. The mix of old-style furniture and modern kitchen is confusing when I try to think what these folks' style is. This house will stick in my memory for a long time.
Rita

janet said...

Dude, I think I once made a house like this in the Sims. O.O

jackie31337 said...

What baffles me is the sitting area, complete with coffee table, in the bedroom. What the heck is that doing in there?

Kathy said...

Didn't Hildy do that on trading spaces a couple of years ago?

Freelance Writer said...

those downstairs rooms are below the water level...just hope theres never a leak down there...while people are sleeping...might drown a kid or something....

Anonymous said...

So when I showed this to my boyfriend, his comment was "I bet there's a video camera in that computer, somewhere right next to the bed. They make movies. Maybe I saw that one?" ewwwww

Carrie said...

I don't think that's a houseboat, it's just a house on a canal. Here's a picture of actual houseboats, in Amsterdam: http://www.panoramio.com/photo/2029885

LMA said...

I believe der omschrijving says something like this:

"Pleased to enter das floatingk drugghaus, ya? Undermidt Big Tent in das bedrum cum diningkvschnitzel is all der ackutermintz for der pskadellickmic trip: kingTut, Disco balling up das YinYang, Masonicpyramidink, mirrors, mirrors, mirrors. Kinderrum featur Dumbo Stonerphant, Festivus Coffin und plant. Iffen Voorden comes mit Interpol, is no problem -- ahoy mateys! Hypotheektikali, asking 349,000 Euros. But will tradev methamphetamine! Hurri! Won last loong!"

P.S. No moose. Sorri