"Pick up this gem, dust it off, add polish and it will shine."
"Dust it off"? Sure! A quick go-round with a Swiffer, that's all this house needs. (Found by Lauren -- thank you!)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
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Loveliness past
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2008
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July
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- The Human Tetris -- play along at home!
- For you action / adventure fans
- It's Christmas in July!
- Solves the whole "WHICH cabinet?" problem
- "Pick up this gem, dust it off, add polish and it ...
- A well-defended house
- Don't break the house! By Milton Bradley
- "toilet installed, not to code"
- Can I offer you a glass of ice tea?
- KEEP OUT --no, not you! You, come in.
- Open door slowly
- Squawk II
- An old (very old) friend
- Tin foil? Radiators? Art? Please explain.
- Special bendy house
- Excuse me, could you please scootch down... just a...
- Really, it's totally my house to sell, I swear
- Half a horse is better than... no, wait, that does...
- Included: a ghost. Well, no, just half a ghost.
- I once bought a house that was THIS BIG
- "nice little place dont have time to list first co...
- "Candle in the Wind" was probably playing in the b...
- Toga! Toga! Toga!
- How? How does this happen?
- (I don't want to swim in) Chelsea
- Aaaahhhhhhhh!
- Yeah, nothing awkward about this at all
- Suicide girls
- I shop at Ikea, too!
- Because I'm comfortable here, damn it, that's why
- Yip!
- Smells delicious!
- Come and knock down our door (doo-dee doo-dee doo ...
- Is it my contacts?
- Squeak!
- "GREAT VALUE! REDUCED PRICE!!!"
- Rented a tent, a tent, a tent
- Run, bathtub, run!
- Note to self...
- An explanation.
- "THIS IS NOT A REO WRECK OR FIXER UPPER"
- Shows what I know.
- I'll burn you!
- TV eye
- "City says stay out."
- Just out of frame: a pterodactyl opening cans
- Ow. Ow. Ow. Quit poking me!
- One fish, two fish... no, wait, never mind, just o...
- Nothing good ever happened here.
- Poke it! Go on!
- Peek-a-boo!
- If I had a spare two million...
- Immaculate
- Hi... er... don't let us bother you...
- Good... doggy?
- At least the lid is down.
- Oooooohhhh....
- I do not think it means what you think it means.
- zzzzz
- A time-saving technique
- Hop hop hop smash
- Lemme out!
- 500 mirrors in the house and yet I go out dressed ...
- Comes with walls. And a floor.
- *squints*
- They sell disposable cameras at the drug store, yo...
- Butter? Parquet!
- It gives a lovely light
- Fine -- I'll do it myself
- Do you suppose all Earth creatures behave like tha...
- Hey, what's under the tarp?
- UP and down, and UP and down...
- Dum de dum de dum...
- C'mon, lamp! Come with us!
- "FHA rehabilitation loan is adviseable on this pro...
- I LOVE YOU TINA
- PLEASE "CLEAN" THE SINK WHEN YOU ARE "DONE"
- Major selling point: trash can lids.
- It's a golden housing-market
- In an average American home, the TV is on more tha...
- Drunk tank pink
- The Realtor slipped me a mickey
- I'll sell you this house for... one MILLION DOLLARS!
- Included: oven, fridge, surly teenager
- For keeping kosher?
- Double wide. Double!
- Once again: aaaacentuate the positive...
- Winchester Split-Level of Mystery
- Mine? Really? Why, thank you!
- The importance of planning ahead
- My first thought is not "I'll take a refreshing dip!"
- Squawk!
- Dreary. So very dreary.
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July
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34 comments:
Hi, Sara! Great site! And congrats on making the blogs of note list! I love looking at real estate online, but these are just hilarious! Keep up the good work!
OMG it has been in a fire and can't be occupied- besides having no heat or A/C in Texas.
Seriously, this realtor is on crack. They started renovations, yes, but they forgot to mention it is SEVERELY FIRE DAMAGED. Wow.
Thanks for this site - I just found it and am addicted. :)
Yea right - dust it off with a bulldozer!
OMG....They can't be serious ! That is far worse than the Katrina houses .
Dust it off...?
Demolishment. Explosions. Disinfecting..maybe.
This is great. ^_^
Another one BITES the dust.. :D
new to this site too..love it!
once you finish dusting off those ashes there won't be enough left to pick your teeth with - I'm loving my own house more each time I see another of your posts, my hubby thanks you.
The char's the only thing holding that house up.
My god, that is beautiful!
Common guys, it's not thaaat bad. Ok it is.
Thats the most hilarious listing I've ever seen. Thanks for the giggle.
: )
$137,000? Seriously?
Love your blog, by the way. It often makes me laugh until I cry.
Very clever! I really enjoyed your blog.
Awesome blog! Great name, also! Please leave a comment on mine!
-Sara
bucklewayup.blogspot.com
Hmmm...somehow I doubt that the same strategy for saving a piece of burnt toast can be applied to saving a burnt house. But, hey, maybe I am just a pessimist?
hey
u r on blog of note
congratulations
keep it up
LMAO! I just came across this blog, and added it to my Blog List. This latest house is a real gem. It's probably only the dust mites keeping it upright.
I'd love to know where the renovations have started. Did they remove a couple of the worst burnt walls?!
Great blog and is this realtor crazy?
Your blog has got me laughing out loud! Thanks for the fun!
Fantastic blog Sara!! Its amazing how silly some of these pictures are - and the captions you attach get me though my work day.
p.s. love the photo in this listing of the guy sitting outside on the couch next to some of the char - beautiful...
"Excellent source of charcoal! Don't let this opportunity pass you by!"
Owner has started renovations? With what? A gas can and a match? The photos look like the prosecution's evidence in an insurance fraud case.
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "fire sale" now doesn't it?
I'm from Houston, and the house is in a gentrifying neighborhood, so the $137,000 price isn't unreasonable for the lot value, but you still have to deal with the "gem."
I saw this on Swamplot.com, a blog about Houston real estate, and showed it to a friend who said "you should submit it to lovelylisting," and lo and behold, someone already had!
Yes. My fav is the guy sitting on the desk (?) outside. That sorta tops the whole thing off
wait...theres a house in this mess?!
Oh my god, that´s awfull. Look at this:
- 2 Full & 1 Half Bath(s) (what the hell, a half bath :P )
- All Bedrooms Down (yeah, I bet they are)
- No Heating (it´s burned)
- Style: Traditional (were all the houses in the older days burned like this?)
Remarkably, the listing doesn't even mention fire damage. If you didn't look at the photos, you'd never expect...
T
Holy.
Crap.
"Hurry, this listing is HOT!"
I don't think you could pay me to go into that house.
Love the blog.
The listing says "off freeway", but only just! Even in a gentrifying neighborhood, this land isnt worth jack. I dont know any Houstonite willing to build a McMansion UNDER one of Houston's busiest highways. Im surprised this house hasnt been condemned by the city.
As an independent real estate broker in Texas, I had to laugh and cringe at some of these listings. The burnt house agent is clearly a summa cum laude graduate of the Euphemistic School of Real Estate. I thank my daughter for showing this to me. It made my day.
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