If this were the early nineties? And I was in a grunge band? Even though we mocked the term "grunge," but that was what we were called -- ironically! -- when our show opening for Girl Trouble got reviewed in The Rocket? And we needed cover art our five-song EP, the one our friend was putting out on the record label he runs from his bedroom in Tumwater?
This is totally the look I would go for.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
What? You expect me to put the lid down? Pshaw. For a mere $520,000, it really isn't worth my time.
Bug problem? No, no bug problem. What makes you think this house has a bug problem?
Oh. That. No, that's... a friend's. He left it here. I really ought to get around to getting it back to him. Mmm-hmmm.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Nope, there's nothing wrong with the pool. Why do you ask? Oh, the color? No, no, that's fine. The pool's filled with Midori. It's supposed to be that color. Cheers!
P.S. While making sure that Midori was the green liqueur I was thinking of, I found this recipe on their website. June Bug? Mmmm, beetles. Drinkable beetles. How delightful.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Yes! This is exactly what I'm looking for in a house. A big sleeping woman with a wound in her chest that leaks water. That is what the picture is of, right?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I'm sure there are good reasons for having a witch's hat (or, as some people call them, a safety cone) in the kitchen of the house you're trying to sell. Like... the kitchen is so FULL OF RADNESS that someone might walk in and be all WOAH and jump back and fall and hurt themselves, just because of the awesomeness of it all.
That must be it.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Jingle all the way,
Oh what fun
It is to ride, [found by Becky]
On a one-horse open sleigh,
Jingle bells (everybody!),
Merry Christmas, if that's your thing! And happy Thursday, if it isn't!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
THE ROBOTS WELCOME YOU TO YOUR NEW HOME
WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME
DO NOT BE ALARMED
WE ARE FRIENDLY ROBOTS
FRIENDLY ROBOTS WITH BIG STICKS
beep beep beep beep
DANCE THE ROBOT WITH US
WE SAID, DANCE THE ROBOT
NOT LIKE THAT
IS THAT REALLY HOW WE LOOK WHEN WE DANCE
beep whirrr beep
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Amanda found this listing back in September and it's still up, which is odd, as nothing says "The Perfect Home Just for You !!!!!!!!" like a dog taking a crap.
Labels: South Carolina
Monday, December 22, 2008
Roar! Their eyes glow! Their fangs gnash! Their cute lil' floppy ears are all floppy and cute and awwww.... found by Randi. Who's a cute little hellhound? Who? Who?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
This apartment, found by Michelle, is yours for $10, according to the listing. Included: Andy, a hideous half-man, half-sofa. That isn't going to be a problem, is it? What are you, some sort of anti-couchite?
Friday, December 19, 2008
I look at a ridiculous number of real estate listings (this isn't a complaint -- I'm a nosy person and enjoy the chance to peek into people's houses). One thing I get so bored with is the graffiti. It's always the same black paint, ho hum.
But here! Neon pink graffiti! Purple! Blue! What a refreshing sight. How many highlighters does it take to do a job like this?
This photo, found by Whitney, is how I feel on the third snow day this week. All the funny has been beaten out of me by small children pelting me with Lego. They claim that I'm their mother and should be paying attention to them instead of looking at... well, since my kids are reading over my shoulder I won't spell out what I suspect this might be. I might be wrong, anyway. It could just be... um...
I'll get back to you on that one.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Karen found this and didn't know what it was supposed to show, but I think it's clear: it's a moat. Not the most impassable of moats, but clearly a moat.
Becky found this lovely... fireplace? Yes, it must be a fireplace, because that's clearly a fireplace screen. Tra la la, it's a fireplace, no need to look any closer.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I Love Upstate thinks this is an enema bag hanging in the bathroom in this listing. But it is the season of giving, and in my condition of heightened generosity I refuse to believe that any real estate agent would include one. They wouldn't, they just wouldn't.
It's just a shower hose. A really high, thin, oddly placed, miscolored shower hose.
Labels: New York
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Clayton found this listing from Riverside, and I have to say it's the grossest one I've ever seen. It's even worse than this one, which I thought would never be topped. So, as a favor to you, I'm just putting this teeny photo in.
You can click on the photo if you want, or not. It's a bit of a personality test, isn't it?
Did you see it? There was a bathtub right there! I swear it was! Elizabeth found it, and I saw it, but now... gone. Ooooh. Spooky. Vanishing bathtub.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Karen found this good dog in a listing from San Diego. Good dog! Who's a good dog?
I just realized: if I looked at this blog for the first time today, I would have no freaking idea what it's about. Hunting? Pets? Furniture? Sandwiches?
Oh, my. I'm about as far from a raw vegan as you can get while still having opposable thumbs, but still I do not find dead little glassy eyeballs and bloody guts to be appealing.
Found by Kristin; found by Annie.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Julie found this photo of a commercial property. Yes, it is. It is! That's what commercial properties look like! Otherwise it would make no sense to have this photo be the only one on the listing.
Labels: New York
StacyAndJason (don't give me that look -- that's what the e-mail says) found this dramatic moment waiting to happen. What's coming out of the closet? Something... nice?
The chair is embarrassed about being caught in the bedroom. Sorry!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
SHHHH! YOU'RE KEEPING TONY UP WITH ALL YOUR DANCING! THIS IS NO TIME FOR A CONGA LINE! KNOCK IT OFF!
Just like Japanese room sizes are given in tatami mats, in Massachusetts room sizes are given in recycling bags. This photo (found by Melissa) shows a twenty-bag room, the standard size for a small living room or large bedroom.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee DOO-DEE (da da da da da da da da DAAAAH da-da-da)
Brie found these old friends, practicing for a recital.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
No, not this Shire:
And not this one, which Rebecca found:
But this one, found by David:
I suppose if you're selling a house for a mere $1,250,000, you can't be expected to shell out for a non-fisheye camera lens.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
PROSPECTIVE TENANT: I don't know... the windows seem a bit small.
OWNER: No, no, they're nice and big. Airy! The apartment is positively airy.
PROSPECTIVE TENANT: But the windows! Look at them! They're about six inches tall.
OWNER: Clearly you are mistaken. Look at the curtains! Nobody would put such long curtains on six-inch-tall windows, would they?
PROSPECTIVE TENANT: I see your point. I'll sign the lease now, please.
(Found by Christian and Gareth.)
OK, this is pretty much what my kitchen looks like right now. Is that a selling point? The listing, found by Katie, does remind me of home, after all...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Is that a logging cross-cut saw in the corner? Why yes, I believe it is.
"You expect me to live like this?" demanded the toilet. "I'll give you 'looks like someone tried to remodel it, and stopped.' Bah!"
And with that it stormed out the door to go to Norway, where plumbing fixtures are appreciated.
Monday, December 8, 2008
My God. It's Monday.