Man, you guys are great. Or sick, I really can't tell the difference any more. With each entry I'd say "There's the winner! No, there!" Those chairs and their magic eye seminars, their anticipation of strippers, their drinking problems. So sad.
It's not easy, but... (drum roll)... the winner is:
"These chairs are still here," the weary undertaker wispered to his wife. "Don't they know the visitation was from 7 to 9 p.m.? If they don't leave soon I'm going to have to turn out the lights."
Thank you, randilee!