Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ladies of the World



Um... miss? Excuse me, miss? We're trying to take a photo here, if you could just... Crap, she's totally ignoring me. Is she drunk?

(Found by Angela.)

34 comments:

Kerry said...

I really like the 1980s-looking electric fireplace in the hallway or whatever that room is. The one of the lady sitting under the umbrella is pretty good, too.
But do they really have a bathtub out there on those rocks by the lake? How'd they get it there, and more importantly, it can't possbly actually work - where's the plumbing?

Mallory said...

Wow, those New Zealanders sure know how to party!

Alissa said...

I thought the photos of real people in house listings were weird enough, but this is definitely weirder and a tad bit creepy.

Jackie said...

Is she posing as Barbie?

I think people are purposly posting silly pictures now to gain noteriety on this website! These listings can't be real!!

ege said...

Oh my. Oh-ho-ho my. I just, I can't, why would you, even if it weren't for, what would possess a person to...?

Oh, my.

patri said...

I've been following this blog for awhile. I've seen some pretty crazy things on here. But this.... seriously? No, I mean, SERIOUSLY?????

Firefly said...

I'm ready to move in, I don't care if she is drunk.

leftyfro said...

Sorry, I had just started exfoliating, and couldn't stop.

Meg said...

Judging by the picture you posted, I'd say it was the summer house of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

"It pust the lotion in the bathtub."

Oh, and picture #17...is that supposed to be a gift shop in the house?

Anonymous said...

The buyers contract would have to stipulate if the "Real Doll" gentleman's play doll was left or went with owner. Perhaps that's a store dummy as artwork or a "suggested use" but it is goofy. I'll give it that much.

Karin said...

I am totally putting Househunting in New Zealand on my list of things to do before I die! The goofiest posts on this blog come from there.

Anonymous said...

What!?! "carport under balcony".

Lulu LaBonne said...

So that's where the husband stashes his blow-up companion.

OR she was real but is now dead and will be pushed into the water at nightfall

Jill said...

"Ladies of the World" and New Zealand? Did someone named Jemaine submit this one???

Karen said...

It's Lars' girlfriend from 'Lars and the Real Girl'. Apparently, she left Lars to spend some quality time in New Zealand.

The house looks ... interesting. The location is pretty awesome and it's got a lot of potential.

Andra said...

Ahhh, love the Conchords references! I was confused at first but once I saw the amount of bright pink I knew everything would be all right.

Anonymous said...

I am left with lots of questions???

First, aside from Lars girlfriend using it at the moment, is that really the hot tub by the river that the seller mentions? Does it get hot only when the temperatures are above 100 degrees F...

Second, are they really using their kids naked baby pictures to sell the house (pic 11)? Kids get mad enough if you show those to their new husbands or wives when they get older, let alone this!

Finally, I am not familiar with New Zealand real estate, but is rateable value the same as appraised value? If so do they really want me to pay an extra $99,000 for the doll in the "hot tub"?

Jayne said...

I don't care where the bathtub is, I want to live there!

Anonymous said...

The beach hut is for "hobbies of solitude"?

The sweet, innocent part of my brain is thinking, "oh, like if you prefer to do yoga or meditation alone, or if your hobby could disturb other people, like practicing the trumpet."

The evil, naughty part of my brain is thinking something else.

MJ said...

Hahaha awesome.

Firstly, Rateable Value is what lets the local council determine how much you'll have to pay in rates, and, if the property market is in reasonable health, it will always be less than the market value.

Secondly, the listing is for Dunedin, which is pretty much as south as you can go in NZ, and we all know how weird southerners are!

Bill's Bayou said...

Good Lord, where do I begin? Photo 1 in the gallery, of course.

Compare #1 with #13. Note the aerial shot's reproduction of photographic artifacts. This is because Liz (we'll get to her later) has edited the coast VERY POORLY! The beach in #1 and most of the shoreline cottage have been washed away by her use of the clone tool. Hint to Liz: Don't wear mittens when using a computer. What could she possibly be hiding with that

#4 & #8: the views out of the windows are hatchet jobs sloppily pasted into the walls. Nasty work, there.

#6: Liz carried that tub all the way from one photo down to the shore in another photo (using a Chinese knock-off version of Photoshop). Note the lack of shadow and fuzzy rocks. Unless, of course, the rocks are indeed fuzzy in kiwi land.

#7: Is that a vacation photo? The property is on the shore. Why show us a shot of a hilltop?

#11: Nothing like naked babies to sell a house...

#14: ..unless of course you want to show off the heavy fishing boats that'll roll past your back door every day at 3am.

#15: Is that Liz?

#17: ...because that's her photo gallery. Fred Sanford sold her most of the decorations for it. "Liz Cadogan: Photographer" or "Photobutcher" as your tastes apply.

#20: How much for just the rusty weed choked bicycle that you never use? I think she rode it to the bottom of the hill (#7) and couldn't go any further.

Here's some red flags from the description:
"Amazing Potential" means you better know a good contractor.
"Anyone with a bit of cash" means the contractors aren't cheap.
"Take my developments...further" means you'll also need an architect to correct what she did.
"Potential is Unlimited" means you're better off clearing the lot first.
"Bedroom is cosy" we all know to mean "small".
"River facing room is compact" is used because "cosy" would be an exageration.

Lauren said...

Bolivia.....amphibia!

Angela Noelle said...

Two things I just have to add as the proud submission-maker of this listing...(very very proud)

1) I've driven by this house and wondered, "What type of people paint their house that colour, really?". Did a genie hear me musing?
2) I can just imagine the rationale;
"Well, we can't have a naked person in the photo"
"No, that would be really inappropriate"
"But we can't not show the tub, it's such a feature!"

Thanks for making me feel special Sara, you rock...and for continuing to share the NZ-love around.

Brendan said...

Is there another tub next to it, with a male mannequin in it? It could be an ad for mannequin cialis.

Anonymous said...

When will the realtors realize... it's got to be funky, sexy ladies?

R2K said...

That is so creepy, like the painting on friends.

Anonymous said...

Bill's Bayou-

Your analysis cracked me up... I didn't notice so many of those things you pointed out!!! I think this listed is my favorite thus far.

Anonymous said...

I have this strange, subliminal feeling... I'm not sure where it's coming from... but I think... maybe I'm psychic! ... I think maybe Liz's favorite color might be pink. Just a hunch though.

barbierica1 said...

This reminds me of those Cialis commercials in the States, where the older couple is sitting in a couple of claw foot tubs overlooking a valley, planning their next impromptu tryst

The Mef thing said...

What?!!! Nice one!!

AgentDeVoyages said...

Well.. wow. I always suspected Karitane was a little weird.. but this?! Ms Cadogan (whose numerous ads I've seen gracing the local paper) unfortunately fails to mention the rather un-splendid smell that often emanates from the estuary she lives beside.. and the commercial fishing wharf that's situated about 100m down the coast line.. Can I hear a 'mmm fish'?

Mia said...

While that is a hilarious photo I'd have to say the photography room is the deal breaker for me. I think someone vomited pink all over it.

Jayce said...

Holy clone repeat, batman!

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog, you've posted one of my listings (the one about the toaster oven, new construction circa 1955) Anyway, I HEART THIS BLOG! Keep it up, this made my day. Look forward to seeing more!