Ladies of the World
Um... miss? Excuse me, miss? We're trying to take a photo here, if you could just... Crap, she's totally ignoring me. Is she drunk?
(Found by Angela.)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
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Loveliness past
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2009
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January
(56)
- Bedroom / window / closet? Don't be so picky.
- Oh, Adobe, you have so much to answer for
- I am the... what was I saying?
- Hello, ossifer, what seems to be the problem?
- Lord, this must be my destination
- THEY'RE MELTING! THEY'RE MELTING!
- I have poor impulse control
- "Be aware of transients living throughout property."
- Look away, children
- Everybody say "I like it!"
- A humble listing
- Hi!
- So you don't get wet, of course
- We are sailing, we are sailing...
- House for sell!!!!
- Seven years of bad listings
- I admit nothing
- NOW NOW NOW
- *sigh*
- The land of smiles
- Faster! Faster!
- OH HI GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING
- This one's for all the parents out there
- Exterminate! Exterminate! With marshmallows on top!
- Greetings from Me-Kwa-Mooks
- Hangin' out at the Gas 'n' Sip
- Not included: cobbler
- Someone didn't get the memo
- ✡! (whee I'm playing with Unicode)
- do not click (you have been warned)
- In England they call them "pot plants"
- For people with good pedigrees
- Hey, man, what's under the tarp?
- It won't get far on foot
- Brotherhood of the Plumbed Things
- Getting to know yooouuuu
- Thanks, fairy godmother!
- Included: washer, dryer, wrath of God
- Korch? Katio? Keck?
- Wahooo!
- "The best I can do is post some with my family in ...
- The captain has turned on the "Fasten seat belts" ...
- Don't hurt me
- Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas todaaaay
- Chair contest winner
- Peek-a-boo!
- Just a humble ol' cabin
- Ladies of the World
- Snow on snow on snow
- Bats in the belfry
- There's not a minute to lose
- "i'll post better images soon."
- This blog, as seen by Kanye West
- Help! It's sinking!
- Parking by Officer Murphy
- Dearly beloved contest!
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January
(56)
34 comments:
I really like the 1980s-looking electric fireplace in the hallway or whatever that room is. The one of the lady sitting under the umbrella is pretty good, too.
But do they really have a bathtub out there on those rocks by the lake? How'd they get it there, and more importantly, it can't possbly actually work - where's the plumbing?
Wow, those New Zealanders sure know how to party!
I thought the photos of real people in house listings were weird enough, but this is definitely weirder and a tad bit creepy.
Is she posing as Barbie?
I think people are purposly posting silly pictures now to gain noteriety on this website! These listings can't be real!!
Oh my. Oh-ho-ho my. I just, I can't, why would you, even if it weren't for, what would possess a person to...?
Oh, my.
I've been following this blog for awhile. I've seen some pretty crazy things on here. But this.... seriously? No, I mean, SERIOUSLY?????
I'm ready to move in, I don't care if she is drunk.
Sorry, I had just started exfoliating, and couldn't stop.
Judging by the picture you posted, I'd say it was the summer house of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.
"It pust the lotion in the bathtub."
Oh, and picture #17...is that supposed to be a gift shop in the house?
The buyers contract would have to stipulate if the "Real Doll" gentleman's play doll was left or went with owner. Perhaps that's a store dummy as artwork or a "suggested use" but it is goofy. I'll give it that much.
I am totally putting Househunting in New Zealand on my list of things to do before I die! The goofiest posts on this blog come from there.
What!?! "carport under balcony".
So that's where the husband stashes his blow-up companion.
OR she was real but is now dead and will be pushed into the water at nightfall
"Ladies of the World" and New Zealand? Did someone named Jemaine submit this one???
It's Lars' girlfriend from 'Lars and the Real Girl'. Apparently, she left Lars to spend some quality time in New Zealand.
The house looks ... interesting. The location is pretty awesome and it's got a lot of potential.
Ahhh, love the Conchords references! I was confused at first but once I saw the amount of bright pink I knew everything would be all right.
I am left with lots of questions???
First, aside from Lars girlfriend using it at the moment, is that really the hot tub by the river that the seller mentions? Does it get hot only when the temperatures are above 100 degrees F...
Second, are they really using their kids naked baby pictures to sell the house (pic 11)? Kids get mad enough if you show those to their new husbands or wives when they get older, let alone this!
Finally, I am not familiar with New Zealand real estate, but is rateable value the same as appraised value? If so do they really want me to pay an extra $99,000 for the doll in the "hot tub"?
I don't care where the bathtub is, I want to live there!
The beach hut is for "hobbies of solitude"?
The sweet, innocent part of my brain is thinking, "oh, like if you prefer to do yoga or meditation alone, or if your hobby could disturb other people, like practicing the trumpet."
The evil, naughty part of my brain is thinking something else.
Hahaha awesome.
Firstly, Rateable Value is what lets the local council determine how much you'll have to pay in rates, and, if the property market is in reasonable health, it will always be less than the market value.
Secondly, the listing is for Dunedin, which is pretty much as south as you can go in NZ, and we all know how weird southerners are!
Good Lord, where do I begin? Photo 1 in the gallery, of course.
Compare #1 with #13. Note the aerial shot's reproduction of photographic artifacts. This is because Liz (we'll get to her later) has edited the coast VERY POORLY! The beach in #1 and most of the shoreline cottage have been washed away by her use of the clone tool. Hint to Liz: Don't wear mittens when using a computer. What could she possibly be hiding with that
#4 & #8: the views out of the windows are hatchet jobs sloppily pasted into the walls. Nasty work, there.
#6: Liz carried that tub all the way from one photo down to the shore in another photo (using a Chinese knock-off version of Photoshop). Note the lack of shadow and fuzzy rocks. Unless, of course, the rocks are indeed fuzzy in kiwi land.
#7: Is that a vacation photo? The property is on the shore. Why show us a shot of a hilltop?
#11: Nothing like naked babies to sell a house...
#14: ..unless of course you want to show off the heavy fishing boats that'll roll past your back door every day at 3am.
#15: Is that Liz?
#17: ...because that's her photo gallery. Fred Sanford sold her most of the decorations for it. "Liz Cadogan: Photographer" or "Photobutcher" as your tastes apply.
#20: How much for just the rusty weed choked bicycle that you never use? I think she rode it to the bottom of the hill (#7) and couldn't go any further.
Here's some red flags from the description:
"Amazing Potential" means you better know a good contractor.
"Anyone with a bit of cash" means the contractors aren't cheap.
"Take my developments...further" means you'll also need an architect to correct what she did.
"Potential is Unlimited" means you're better off clearing the lot first.
"Bedroom is cosy" we all know to mean "small".
"River facing room is compact" is used because "cosy" would be an exageration.
Bolivia.....amphibia!
Two things I just have to add as the proud submission-maker of this listing...(very very proud)
1) I've driven by this house and wondered, "What type of people paint their house that colour, really?". Did a genie hear me musing?
2) I can just imagine the rationale;
"Well, we can't have a naked person in the photo"
"No, that would be really inappropriate"
"But we can't not show the tub, it's such a feature!"
Thanks for making me feel special Sara, you rock...and for continuing to share the NZ-love around.
Is there another tub next to it, with a male mannequin in it? It could be an ad for mannequin cialis.
When will the realtors realize... it's got to be funky, sexy ladies?
That is so creepy, like the painting on friends.
Bill's Bayou-
Your analysis cracked me up... I didn't notice so many of those things you pointed out!!! I think this listed is my favorite thus far.
I have this strange, subliminal feeling... I'm not sure where it's coming from... but I think... maybe I'm psychic! ... I think maybe Liz's favorite color might be pink. Just a hunch though.
This reminds me of those Cialis commercials in the States, where the older couple is sitting in a couple of claw foot tubs overlooking a valley, planning their next impromptu tryst
What?!!! Nice one!!
Well.. wow. I always suspected Karitane was a little weird.. but this?! Ms Cadogan (whose numerous ads I've seen gracing the local paper) unfortunately fails to mention the rather un-splendid smell that often emanates from the estuary she lives beside.. and the commercial fishing wharf that's situated about 100m down the coast line.. Can I hear a 'mmm fish'?
While that is a hilarious photo I'd have to say the photography room is the deal breaker for me. I think someone vomited pink all over it.
Holy clone repeat, batman!
Just found your blog, you've posted one of my listings (the one about the toaster oven, new construction circa 1955) Anyway, I HEART THIS BLOG! Keep it up, this made my day. Look forward to seeing more!
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