Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Look away, children


"How is this porn?" you might ask, disappointed. But look at it. Look at the filthy, filthy listing Esmee found. Take a closer look:



It's clearly fish heading upstream. And why do fish head upstream?

You know.

Fish business.

Nasty fish business.

Tsk tsk tsk.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Weird wallpaper aside, that sink is surrounded by rocks. Multiple rocks. Oh what a joy it must be to try and keep a bunch of rocks surrounding a sink clean. Particularly since they pretty clearly have kids, who are going to splash and accidentally make a mess because they're kids.

First order of business there would be to lose the rocks and put in a surface you could wipe down with ease. Those pedestal sinks look cool but the design flaw in them is how easy it is to make a mess around them. You know what would make that about a billion times worse? Individual rocks surrounding a pedestal sink.

Now imagine wiping down individual rocks while surrounded by fish porn. No wonder they want to move.

Miq-Tak said...

So juicy sweet...

Karen said...

What the heck were these people thinking with that fish wallpaper(?). The rest of the place is decorated quite nicely, then bam ... fish business. Oh, and the rocks by the sink also creep me out too. Poor bathroom(?).

The Office Scribe said...

What it must feel like to shower inside of a Blue Whale.

Eden said...

I thought they were legions of ghosts floating into the ether.

Laura said...

Porn? You mean spawn, shirley.

The Mef Thing said...

So weird.
I like the flames way better.

Callisto said...

What I want to know is what's under the rocks. Probably stagnant, sitting water, a couple bobby pins, possibly some fish eggs?

Stuart said...

Ichthyoid Porn Found in Ikea Idea Home - details at eleven.

("Ichthyoid Porn" would be a great name for techno band, btw.)

dogface said...

Oh man, this looks like wallpaper I used to download for The Sims when I was big into downloading all the custom-made stuff.

Kendie said...

oh my! the rest of the house is so nice, but all those fish! I could never relax with all those glassy fish eyes staring at me.

Batteris said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Fish business!!! I love this blog...

burhanistan said...

So, could it be said that all those salmon swimming upstream are in fact sperm deposited by some huge invisible sea man going up the riverine uteri of our water table?

Amazone said...

These people probably had someone clean it for them, this home being way too expensive for the average double income household.
Looks like a befriended interior decorator who just finished his course was given a free hand and was inspired by the zoo across the water (which has a beautiful aquarium).

Suz said...

Yes, the fish wallpaper is very strange and makes my nose ache just to look, and the rocks in the sink I'd like if they were filled-in with a transparent non-porous substance you could clean with a disinfecting cleaner.
But, one more strange thing: there is a map of the U.S. in the nursery!
I had never thought of such a thing. It is a great idea, though. I think if I have another baby, I shall put up a map of Europe over the changing table. Why? I don't know.
-Susie

Dazeddizzy said...

that is THE ugliest wallpaper in the history of ever.

Marytoo said...

But look how shiny the sink is!

Anonymous said...

It looks like one of those Magic Eye graphics, like if I stare at the fish wallpaper long enough there will be a pirate ship hidden in there.