Oh, Adobe, you have so much to answer for
I have never been at a loss for words before. But... this listing... this listing found by Sarah... I just... what?
what
what what what
what
Friday, January 30, 2009
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Loveliness past
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2009
(358)
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January
(56)
- Bedroom / window / closet? Don't be so picky.
- Oh, Adobe, you have so much to answer for
- I am the... what was I saying?
- Hello, ossifer, what seems to be the problem?
- Lord, this must be my destination
- THEY'RE MELTING! THEY'RE MELTING!
- I have poor impulse control
- "Be aware of transients living throughout property."
- Look away, children
- Everybody say "I like it!"
- A humble listing
- Hi!
- So you don't get wet, of course
- We are sailing, we are sailing...
- House for sell!!!!
- Seven years of bad listings
- I admit nothing
- NOW NOW NOW
- *sigh*
- The land of smiles
- Faster! Faster!
- OH HI GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING
- This one's for all the parents out there
- Exterminate! Exterminate! With marshmallows on top!
- Greetings from Me-Kwa-Mooks
- Hangin' out at the Gas 'n' Sip
- Not included: cobbler
- Someone didn't get the memo
- ✡! (whee I'm playing with Unicode)
- do not click (you have been warned)
- In England they call them "pot plants"
- For people with good pedigrees
- Hey, man, what's under the tarp?
- It won't get far on foot
- Brotherhood of the Plumbed Things
- Getting to know yooouuuu
- Thanks, fairy godmother!
- Included: washer, dryer, wrath of God
- Korch? Katio? Keck?
- Wahooo!
- "The best I can do is post some with my family in ...
- The captain has turned on the "Fasten seat belts" ...
- Don't hurt me
- Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas todaaaay
- Chair contest winner
- Peek-a-boo!
- Just a humble ol' cabin
- Ladies of the World
- Snow on snow on snow
- Bats in the belfry
- There's not a minute to lose
- "i'll post better images soon."
- This blog, as seen by Kanye West
- Help! It's sinking!
- Parking by Officer Murphy
- Dearly beloved contest!
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January
(56)
66 comments:
Dang....that peacock over the T.V. would go GREAT in my dining room. I'll just cut and paste......
Wow, nothing says home to me as much as what appears to be a footstool sprouting asparagus in the middle of a room does. Unless, of course, you show me a befuddled looking Giraffe in a room with toy trains that have levitating wheels! That makes me want to buy like nothing else ever could, and it all looks so natural.
As buyers in search of a Harrisonburg home, we welcome your hyperreal estate photos.
Yeah, I don't know which is weirder - the oddly Photoshopped decorating accents, or the completely bizarre Photoshopped borders on some (but not all...) of the images. Very strange. I feel like I need to go see the house, just to make sure it doesn't actually look like that.
Glad to see their clip art source includes the latest cutting-edge video technology from Japan . . .
Someone needs to learn to use the transform>perspective tool.
Or, alternately, stop trying to sell a dollhouse, though granted in the current market, you'd probably have better luck with something that costs only hundreds of dollars...
"Just what is it that makes today's homes so different, so appealing?"
While I'm all for Bring Your Child To Work Day, I have to draw the line at Let Your Child Play With Your Work Day.
I wonder if the perpetrator honestly thinks they've pulled off the Perfect Ruse.
Remember Colorforms?
All that insane photoshopping but then they decided to include a picture of the trailer park??
Oh my.
Love the front bushes, those were awesome. lol
what possible oddly-placed random graffiti could they have been trying to hide? I mean, it had to be pretty offensive to think that THIS would improve the pictures....
But
but
but
why?
(shakes head in disbelief)
oh wow... this is horrible! What were these people thinking?
I think it will be the latest trend.... "Virtual Staging!"
Creepy!
Is real estate a profession? Like bankers and stockbrokers? Did it ever occur to these bankers and brokers that they were mixed up with people like this? Lovelylisting, if it had been around a couple years earlier, could have prevented the economic meltdown.
And if you're going to photoshop a tv in there, why one from 1952? Why? Why?!?!
I think my "favorite" picture is of the front of the house. Is that an army of pink flamingos mid-salute? Precisely identical bushes/plants of some sort? What??
I just figured it out!
They're selling their house in Virginia, and taking their pet giraffe with them (seen in the second photo) to live with the melty-faced family in Florida.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! omg...you just made my day.
I'd be a very disappointed buyer to realize that the giraffe and peacock pictures don't actually exist. That would be a dealbreaker for me.
This is like those cute little Flash games I play when I'm bored. *Tries to drag the giraffe painting*
I have alerted http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/ - it's only right.
My question is, what are they trying to hide with that stuff?
Whoa.
I'm not sure which is the coolest - the Russian nesting dolls in the living room and kitchen,the electric coffee pot on a stove burner, or the giant 50s radio with a TV screen.
So, some real estate agent thought this bad clip art decor was a good idea? Really? How awful must this place really be?
Well shoot the dog, and butter my biscuits. I don't know quite what to think. But as the buyer I would be disappointed not to be able to purchase this lovely decor with the house.
Ciao
This is my new favorite website.
The "footstool" looks a lot like a peanut butter cup to me. Is ANYthing about this place real?
Of the many, many glorious posts you have blessed us with, this has got to be the most outrageous. Have you become so famous and wonderful that people are listing their properties just so they can get their horrible photos to turn up on your blog? I must say, it's worth it.
Such unfounded skepticism! It must be because you're so jealous of the current owner's asparagus plant. That's living the dream. The seashell cross-section is a display of the Golden Ratio, which means that they are also in harmony with science.
Well, the Photoshop stuff is great, really, but personally I am diggin' the aluminum foil bedspread!
First of all: I love how the same things show up in every room. Hello, Russian dolls! Hi again, creepy motorcycle man! Greetings, pink roses!
But second, and more germane to the actual selling of the property: are there actually two completely different kitchens in this house?
Ok, so how can it be one floor in the front, but two floors out back, without any sort of drastic slope to the ground? I'm now uber-confused.
You're kidding me.
It's just too much.
What indeed.
Or then Why Why Why Why Why works too.
OMG the motocycle. Hadn't seen it yet.
Oh wow.
Makes the Kitchen look like it is swimming in a fruit bowl...
"Which way is the bathroom?"
"Oh, well, take a left at the grapes, and follow the banana and it will be on you left next to the starfruit."
They should have used these pictures instead of the giraffe:
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=16
I love what you can do with PhotoShop in this place; It's lovely! I'll take it!
Man, this is almost Photoshop Disasters-worthy... O.O
I emailed the realtor to ask if the house came with its own copy of Photoshop or if it was negotiable. I'm waiting to see if I get a reply...
This is actually an illegal misrepresentation of the property according to the rules in Virginia
If y'all are really into the pics, I suggest you snag them before they get taken down. Some other realtor will rat on the guy. They always rat each other out!
Hi, I'm the owner of the website this is linking to. I feel that I need to say that this is not my listing. My site displays all local listings, not just mine. I get the data and photos via a direct download that I can't alter.
However, with all the fun I have had today reading the (gently) teasing emails, and the great web traffic -- I am not sure I would alter anything even if I could!! :)
This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And I've been reading this site for awhile, yo.
What IS that snail thing near the front door? This is too awesome for words....
@ Laura:
You beat me to the Hamilton joke! No fair!
@ Chris Rooker
Thank you for being a good sport, it's greatly appreciated!
OMG! I have that same picture of the giraffe i my rumpus room too!
Wow, just wow!
words cannot describe... i am crying... my husband feels sorry for them... this is possibly the freakiest and funniest thing i have seen in ages!
Regarding the front and the back not matching up... if you look at the rear photo, in the upper right hand corner, you can see the back of the carport. YIKES! Hit the brakes Mabel or we're going down!
Ok, so two separate kitchens, the laws of gravity have been suspended, aluminum foil...bedspread(?), and that NEON food!!!! Maybe there is something radioactive, definitely something other-worldly going on there.
Did you look at the main listing page? I'm thinking that instead of Photoshopping in rows of flowers, they perhaps should have put in, oh, I dunno, a LAWN?!!!
I, I was doing okay until I got to the BEDSPREAD WITH THE BLOODSTAINS.
The random bowls of fruits/vegetables did it for me. That's what makes it really a "home".
Moral of this story is don't let selling your home and your new computer programs mix. Do people like this really think we don't know?
This wall looks empty lets put a giant snail shell up! and put everything in boarders so it looks super nice. I love the uniformity of it as well...
let us not forget that it is near impossible to watch t.v. from the angle the couch is. Although with a t.v. that old who can blame them
I can just see the contract:
**Seller will pay all inspection fees, closing costs, and include the teenie-tiny motorcycle man on the bongo. Conch shell still up for negotiation...
-PF
I'm surprised they didn't photoshop a dancing baby into the crib. Also, if they are going to have that many fruit bowls in the house, they should've put a vegetable garden or orchard in the back yard. :)
Those images get me hot.
Eww... Those are terrible... Guh. I think part of me died inside. Seriously.
*thinking* -wouldn't it had just been better plain? wow.
To those who commented on the two kitchens and why it appears to be one story in front, and two stories in back, I've seen houses similar to that (but without the tacky photoshopped stuff, although typically with real non-photoshopped tacky stuff). If you look closely, the house is built on a hill, and looking at the layout and listing, the second kitchen is probably in the "in-law quarters/apartment" in the finished basement.
As for the photoshop stuff... I'm, um... speechless. lol.
Although some of those photoshopped items could have very well existed. I have seen homes more tacky than that! :D
The owner of the house took the real tacky stuff, so the agent had to photoshop replacement tacky stuff.
No. Way.
3rd picture: is that a giant reese's peanut butter cup with asparagus growing out of it?
Those things look like sprites from an old Doom-style game. I'd be looking for alien monsters around the next corner!
Announcing: Photoshop Vitae.
Yes, folks, now you too can do the re-make of your life! Tired of your curtains? Your wallpaper? Your TV? Don't shop, PhotoShop!!Tired of your spouse? Don't go to an attorney, go to Adobe!! Tired of your kids? Don't run away, Cut and paste!! Yes, you too can Paste away your past and into a bright and shiny future in only minutes, the Photoshop way!!
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