Dearly beloved contest!
Fill in the blank: These chairs are here ________.
Leave your answer as a comment. The writer of the best (and what do I mean by "best"? I can't rightly say) comment will win a copy of Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes, Real People, Hundreds of Design Solutions
.NOTES:
- You've got a week, so please make your comment(s) before late morning (Pacific time) of Thursday, January 8. EDIT: done!
- I have to hand-approve all comments on this blog because of idiot SEO spammers, so don't worry if your thoughtful entry doesn't show up right away.
- If the winner lives somewhere that makes it expensive for me to ship a hardback book to them, they might just win the satisfaction of a job well done.
- This is being done by me, just me, and not any advertisers or companies or rogue states intent on (cue: patriotic music) taking over our beloved democracy through blogs.
- Make sure you leave some way for me to contact you if you win. If you're posting while logged in with Google or Blogger, that should do it; otherwise, please leave your e-mail address (feel free to munge it).
- Photo found by Karen.
92 comments:
to admit that they're addicts.
These chairs are here for the interview portion of the Miss A-Chair-ica Pageant!
to worship the all-powerful light.
These chairs are here to watch the final two players meet up in the US Poker Finals. Let's meet our players...
These chairs are here doing a chair-based exercise class. Now extend those rear legs and streeeeeetch.
These chairs are here for the Upholstery Weekly-sponsored gallery opening of 'Magic Eye Masterpieces'.
These chairs are here in rattan rehab, but many more are still out there, roaming free and unchecked. Have you checked your loft or outhouse recently?
These chairs are here to witness the marriage of Pink and Pinkette. If any chair know of any reason that they should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace. Couch did you say something?
Er well it's just that Pink, you are NOT the highchair's father!
hlkinser2 at yahoo dot com
These chairs are here because they've been told, if they look long enough, they'll see the sailboat in the wallpaper.
These chairs are here ...to Witness in front of the glowing eye of Hypno-Mural.
These chairs are here for a book signing and lecture with this character:
http://www.noonannow.com/thisweek/chairy.jpg
She will be reading from her new memoir "Out from under Pee Wee"
to audition for the upcoming season of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels
To mourn the death of common sense!!!
to plot the hideous wickery death of any real estate agents who may be foolish enough to approach. None shall disturb the Wicker!
for karaoke night!!!!! Rock the Casbah baby!
The chairs are here to witness the jury's verdict, however by the looks of the jury members, it will be not guilty. The crime? First degree Poor Taste.
to reenact the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The chairs didn't get enough credit the first time aroundl.
...to celebrate the life of White Roll of Paper. While I did not know Mr. Paper, I am told by his family that he was fond of practical jokes, sometimes rolling up to conceal the strange marks placed upon him by seminar presenters.....
To mourn the loss of our dear ecclectic friend Sofa.
To admit they have a problem.
"Hi. I'm an ugly wicker chair, and I'm an alcoholic."
To admit they have a problem.
"Hi. I'm an ugly wicker chair, and I'm an alcoholic."
The chairs overheard the owner of the building hire a chair "stripper", they are anxiously awaiting his arrival. Won't they be surprised when they find he is there to chemically remove the varnish from their legs!
These chairs are here to vote on whether or not to admit the upholstered sofa into their exclusive club. (As it turned out, they denied the application, fearing the table would also want to join.)
The chairs are attending a meeting of the ECS group (empty chair syndrome). As they stare, somewhat hypnotized, into the bright light at the front of the room, the colorful quilt patterned sofa sings "There is life after wicker".
They're here to pass the final test to become certified members of Crappy and Ugly Hotel Furniture Association. They'll graduate from this little-known "tech" school to go on to a fast-paced career of holding cheap tourists bags and bums. As members, they'll enjoy benefits such as discount passes to Ottoman Empire Theme park and at La-z-Boy resorts.
Good luck, hotel chair hopefuls!
To request a bailout.
The UAW (united association of wicker) is bleeding them dry.
These chairs are here and look confused.
"Hello, Hair Club for Men? ...I think there's been some sort of mix-up with the invitations."
These chairs are here only in your imagination. Pay no attention to the chairs. Hey, check out that wall decoration!
These chairs are here to do the bidding of the Great Green Table.
trying to figure out the secret image in the Magic Eye poster on the wall.
Hello chairs, I am your guest lecturer. As former upholstery addicts we have put this tacky fabric behind me to remind you of those days and why it is you chose to go nudist.
to honor their cousin the plastic white chair who we have all shared many of adventures with. The white plastic chair was known for its ability to always turn up in photos here and was very versatile in locations as far as indoor and outdoor use. Unfortunately the plastic white chair was ran over by Santa Claus and his reindeer who were making a break after seeing many of the homes listed here. We will miss you our cousin the white plastic chair.
...to drink the kool-aid. All hail Xenu!!!
from all corners of the world, irresistibly drawn by an inner compulsion that told them to meet here today, that they are not alone, that they are not like other chairs. That they have a purpose to fulfill, a purpose which they are about to learn.
These chairs are here awaiting the arrival of The Upholstered One, he who will descend from on high and cover all true believers in crimson, emerald or crazy 1970’s plaid fabric so that they can be protected against the harsh reality of their purpose; to support people’s bums…
It's a funeral for the green tablecloth, of course.
...because no one can figure out how to get them back out that narrow white door.
mistyquincy at yahoo dot com
These chairs are here to "play school"
These chairs provide necessary seating for mourners in the basement funeral parlor. Neighborhood not zoned for in home embalming services but home is wired for optional crematorium upgrade out in the mobile toolshed.
These chairs are here... protesting for equal rights and representation like their plastic brothers and sisters take for granted.
These chairs are set up for the monthly "men who do housework meeting".
They will remain empty of course.
To plan their next protest march, where they will burn a plastic lawn chair at the stake.
A PVC stake, of course.
For Elderly Bingo Night.
cassandra.mccormack at fmr.com
when wicker goes to war. . .
when wicker goes to war. . .
to watch a stag film--looka at all that WOOD!
my vote goes to tessietoon...
I think they are here under false pretenses. They all answered an add reading "Attend an empowering seminar if you think you've seen the light" but really, they are about to learn about a new condo development in Scottsdale. The shiny light is just leading them on.
... to celebrate their uniqueness... just like every other chair!
ladykiwi at gmail dot com
These chairs are here for a self-help seminar on public relations. Those darn white plastic chairs are hogging the limelite & it's got to stop! ohj
These chairs are here. The couch is queer. Get used to it!
...to figure out what the hidden picture is in the 3D art. (It's probably a chair).
These chairs are here as part of a new movement. This is a meeting of the founding members of the "Plastic-Usually White-Chairs Must Be Banished" (P-UW-CMBB) organization. Their agenda is to take back the backyards of the world from those sleezy, trashy, up-start chairs
we.are.country@gmail.com
I know I won't win, but just gotta add my 2 cents to the fun!
These chairs are here to learn the scientific nature of their beings, the molecular makeup of which can be seen on the screen in front of them.
Happy New Year!
Carolyn stole mine...
trying to see that blasted 3-d picture. Too many good responses to try to think of another. I love your blog!
These chairs are here because it's a mobile home, and we're headed to Arizona until the weather improves. All aboard!
Musical chairs of course. It adds an element of difficulty when the chairs are not placed in a circle! LOL
....waiting for PLASTIC surgery so they can have big adventures like their cute white plastic cousins!
These chairs are here for the annual emerging of the picture of the ship and mermaids. Stare just long enough, cross your eyes just a little, look past the design... do you see it... do you see it?
...just trying to see the goddamn sailboat.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v638/sputnikspak/200px-WillamBlack.jpg
(sputnikspak AT gmail.com)
Isn't it obvious.... its a self improvement conference. Cane chairs have such stiff personalities.
These chairs are here to stage an intervention with the home owner regarding tacky design.
The chairs are here to listen to a Diamond level representative of Chairway Incorporated explain how, through the selling of soap and other products, they can have more free time and wealth.
The chairs are here for a seminar led by a Diamond level representative of Chairway, who is going to tell them how they can have more free time and wealth simply by selling furniture polish, slip covers and other products that will improve their lives and the lives of their friends and furniture relatives.
These chairs are here today to participate in the annual Magic Eye competition! First chair to see the sailboat wins!
Alternate entry:
These chairs are here today for their weekly mass worship of tacky wall treatments. This Sunday they honor this tacky black and white panel in its position of honor: at the front of the room and under spotlight.
These chairs are here: to find the hidden picture in the huge Magic Eye poster. First one to find it, gets a door prize-- possibly a new seat cushion!
Prlinehan(at)hotmail(dot)com
"These chairs are still here," the weary undertaker wispered to his wife. "Don't they know the visitation was from 7 to 9 p.m.? If they don't leave soon I'm going to have to turn out the lights."
These chairs are here ________
For the weekly Holly Hobbie and Betsy Clark fan club meetings. Everyone dresses in their favorite prairie dress and bonnet. Then they show episodes of Little House on the Prairie and talk about them. They also raffle off the latest find in printed patch work fabric that was found in thrift stores and off EBay.
http://www.dollkind.com/holly-hobbie-doll.shtml
Or maybe………….These chairs are here…………….for a Miami Vice girl support group. Where all the women who wanted to be a Mimi Vice girl in the 80’s can be with other women who are still trying. Women still wearing the cloths, still trying to get their bangs to stick straight and still looking for their Crocket and Tubs. They can finally get some support that will hopefully get them in to the year 2009.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086759
for your soul.
These chairs are here today not to mourn, but to celebrate the life of Mr Wall Paper, middle name Hideous..
To witness the appearance of the Virgin Chairy on the wallpaper!
This is a remedial class for people who can't stare in the right way make the Magic Eye 3d pictures appear (that's a giant picture of a 3D dolphin, of course).
Ah, crap. Kerry beat me to that above. Oh well. I suppose the chairs are just there waiting to be slaughtered or something, dunno.
for the scheduled "Wicker Man" festival! Burn, baby, burn!
These chairs are here for a "Wisdom" course. They've each paid $395 and brought two new members who paid the special introductory rate of $1000.
...because the realtor has sinned, and must be shunned.
to dance the electric slide at a wedding reception. It's electric!
These chairs are here learning their mantra in a Transcendental Meditation training seminar. They must silently repeat in their minds, "bamboo, bamboo, bamboo" to better know their inner natures.
These chairs are here.
There is nothing in the blank - there is no explanation!
In the unlikely event that I win, I am in the UK so postage would be too expensive.
Ethan Suplee got too tired in Mall Rats and decided to sit with a few friends.
These chairs are ________
lamenting the only time they are photographed is under unflattering florescent lighting.
desperately trying to see the dinosaurs in the "Magic Eye" image on the wall
for a seminar on wallpaper-based stock-investing. It's the hot new thing.
... for movie night. Pass the popcorn (ceiling)!
because all of the cool chairs hang out at the green table.
These chairs are here, nearing the end of their grueling pledge time, and are ready for their final hazin.. err.. "initiation" into the fraternity of 'Quilta Fluffa Sofa'. On the left, the GrandMaster of Ceremonies is about to begin his speech, though none of the initiates may look at him.
These chairs are here to tell you how they're feeling. Gotta make you understand:
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We are all here for the Annual Twin Chair convention.
...to discuss the rampant problems of runaway and suicidal youths in the community by viewing a Magic Eye slideshow.
(references: http://lovelylisting.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-i-spent-my-summer-vacation.html; http://lovelylisting.blogspot.com/2008/12/dont-jump.html; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Eye)
These chairs are here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Miss Cherry-Wood and Mr. Wicker in holy matrimony...
empty, thank God, because the bereaved have gone to the memorial dinner, to leave their cigarette ashes and smoke for someone else to deal with! Like the spirit of the deceased, those will be around forever!
These chairs are here for the screening of Wicker Man. Unfortunately, they're actually showing the remake, but I'm sure as hell not going to tell them!
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