Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lord, this must be my destination


Lizzie found this painfully honest listing. At least I hope it's honest. Because if they're writing "what is nestled next to a grave yard, a rundown eye sore and pink all over?" in a listing and that isn't honesty -- if they're actually hiding, you know, the bad qualities while including several photos of the graves right over the fence -- than just what could be in that basement? Radon? A burst sewer pipe? Bigfoot?

22 comments:

Mid-C Frank said...

It's the John Waters special -- only in Baltimore!

Kate said...

It's straight out of The Wire television series is what it is. You can just picture the poor little corner boys camping out in the abandoned house in their white T-shirts and hoodies.

Steeltown Landlady said...

Sounds like the listing agent was doing that laugh-or-you'll-cry thing - and basically said "Aw, eff it, let's go all out on this one!"

The Mef thing said...

I just love the description, it made me LOL:
"She is pink and she is a beauty. Priceless."
:D Thanks for the smiles :):)

Tess said...

I would keep the house pink. Afterall, everyone knows that zombies really dislike pink.

Laura said...

Next to a graveyard? Think how quiet and peaceful that would be...

Vents said...

Damn living in the burnt out slums of Baltimore make the graves probably the nicest possible thing to live near. If some trees would grow, all the better.

Asking 100K is still out of line. People still dont get how inflated home values have been.

janny226 said...

OMG I thought you made that question up!! There it is right in the listing! I can't even think of anything funnier than that to say. (Maybe that's what they were going for...)

Anonymous said...

I like all of the closeups of the things most likely to come loose and fall atop prospective buyers. Closeup of ramshackle chimney, focus on window about to fall directly out of its frame, etc. As if to say, "If you go anywhere near any of these, we're off the hook legally because...jeez, lemmings have better survival instincts."

Also for all schools: "CALL SCHOOL DISTRICT" (implied: "So they'll know to call CPS immediately after you give them the address.")

Anonymous said...

It's also covered in asbestos shingles. Anybody who demolishes it will pay a fortune for asbestos abatement.

Whoever bought this last wanted to put up a duplex and ran out of cash.

Hampden, the heart and soul of Batlimore!

thegecko said...

OMG i know exactly where that is my husband works one street over and LMAO aaah historic hamden never disappoints

Freelance Writer said...

at least the neighbors are quiet

I don't think the Realtor really wants to sell it...i cant figure out why...do you think the Realtor is a pink loving goth who secretly hopes to buy this someday?

Dinner/Dishes/Drinking said...

It's almost too good to be true! It seems like it was written by a fan of the site just trying to be featured!!

jackie31337 said...

Ah, it's in Hampden, that explains everything. At $100,000, even in that condition, it will probably sell quickly.

Christopher Busta-Peck said...

This is why I left Baltimore.

On the other hand, the good side of being right next to a graveyard is that you're guaranteed a decent view, and you don't have to worry about your neighbors having loud parties or shooting you. (At least not so much.)

Anonymous said...

Fans of the Wire or frightening neighborhoods will be excited to hear that Google Maps now has "street level" views of almost all of Baltimore. You can now sit safely in front of your computer and tour rows and rows of condemned buildings, some with the blue sky visible through the upper windows.

Paul Riddell said...

I imagine that it's only bad around one time of the year, when all of the neighbors get up and welcome Jack Skellington back to Halloweentown.

Anonymous said...

They lied!!! It is not pink ALL over -- there's some white areas in there.

Well, shoot. Now I'm not interested in buying it.

burab said...

Wow. I drove past this house a few weeks ago when I was apartment hunting and saw the "for sale" sign. Really funny that I see it here too! Talk about a missed opportunity!

Marytoo said...

I hope it's close to the fire department, because as soon as they fire up that chimney that house is going up in a blaze!

Becs said...

Ah, Baltimore! City of Lights! City of landfills! City of crack houses! City that might as well be entirely Section 8!

Claudia Balzac said...

Well, at least they'll have well-behaved, quiet neighbors, whoever buys it..