Thursday, June 25, 2009

No, really, it's lovely.




There are two reasons why I have nothing mean to say about this listing, which was found by Beth (and also by someone who wishes to remain anonymous).

1. I'm afraid they'll send me a mean letter, and
2. I honestly think it's really freaking awesome. Come on! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!

Sorry. I might have taken a few too many allergy pills this morning (can you see the lasers shooting out of my eyes, or is that just me?). But really, I do think it's great. I thoroughly approve of people going nuts in their own homes. Good luck to the real estate agent, but dang, if I had a spare seven million bucks (I don't, I checked) and I wanted to live in Connecticut, I'd be moving in tomorrow.

Anyway. Because the people involved have shown themselves to be rather protective of the listing, let's only say nice things in the comments, shall we?

74 comments:

knitorpurl said...

Here are my sincere and positive comments:

Oh my, isn't it bright and colorful!

It's so very clean!

And really, I do kind of like the Parcheesi carpet for a game room- fun!

Emmy said...

Um.... the fire place is amazing! There is said something nice :)

jackie31337 said...

(puts on preschool teacher hat) Wow, look at all the colors you used! How did you decide which ones to put where?

DaniWho said...

Well, if you have the money to buy a home like this you have the money to have the walls re-papered or texturized and painted. The kitchen floor looks a bit expensive to replace but... I can only imagine the heating and cooling costs for a home with over 11,000 sq ft. Hopefully a spend thrift will be happy. The grounds look amazing! If I had the money, I'd buy it....as long s they promised to remove their furniture and rugs. :-)

Anonymous said...

I like the flooring in the kitchen and the billards room.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Isn't...that...something!

(Seinfeld's ugly baby episode)

Industria Dowler said...

I don't know why but...
I LIKE IT, TOO!

Ahhhhhhhhh! Not that I would set out to decorate my house like that, but I could stand living there if it accidentally turned out like that.

Anonymous said...

Well, BOLD colors eh?

blake said...

This place would be great if you were a 4 year old.
And it'd be a fun place to do drugs....or feel like you're already on drugs...i dunno, it looks like all the interior design was made by someone who makes clown attire.

lol @ jackie- It is like a crayola explosion.

Sara said...

newportjoey and blake -- tsk tsk tsk.

ptooie said...

If I had a spare $7mil, which of course I DON'T, hopefully I would have enough left over to buy a pair of sunglasses to keep in nearly every room. I would need them.

Anonymous said...

Are we sure this isn't the interior of some doll's house? The furniture looks as if it was taken out of one of my hold barbie doll houses!

Anonymous said...

I laughed, I cried.


I thought the house I bought had interesting, vibrant wallpaper choices, but they were nothing compared to this.

Compared to the usual listings featured on this site, the photos are lovely, well lighted, well chosen, and show a nice lack of trash, diry toilets and random people. Well Done!

Anonymous said...

I love that the carpet in the bottom pic is a Parchesi board. :)

dissimilitude said...

A little searching revealed the Sotheby's Realty listing for the house, which notes that it was decorated by:

Renowned interior design firm of Diamond & Baratta.

Maybe we're just all too pedestrian to appreciate it.... ;-)

burhanistan said...

This has to be the result of some kind of psychic research experiment that spiraled out of control.

But if you stand on that "home" carpet patch the entire house reverts to a realtor-friendly neutral color scheme in seconds. A sort of deco-transformer, if you will.

Mar Calpena said...

Those photos are... um... oh... so well lit!

blake said...

Sorry : )
I'm a little snarky until i fully ingest my coffee.
I'll play nice. *bows head sheepishly and digs toe in the dirt*

mudslicker said...

Is this Jon and Kate's new house they just moved to? Because if it is, I have a sneaky suspicion they left the decorating up to 8 little crazy people.

Regarding the Attorney letter...what more needs to be said of a man named after a large Alphine rescue dog?

BTW..the kitchen floor is AWESOME!

Anonymous said...

I knew immediately that this was Diamond & Baratta's work. It's as giant as having Dorothy Draper having done your interior and anyone in the know would understand exactly the gobs and gobs of money you put down to have your ENTIRE home done by them. It's a look - to be sure - but considered iconic forward New England / American design.

StefRobrts said...

Does anyone else picture doing a swan dive off the balcony into the bed?

mudslicker said...

oh..his name was Brendan!

...why did I think Bernard? Probably cuz it was pretentious and stuffy and not anywhere close to my favorite actor to play George of the Jungle.

Mary from Nebraska said...

Doesn't it all feel like some sort of viral marketing campaign? I see photoshop evidence on the toile ceiling in the bedroom. And now I have to lie down and rest my eyes.

Tom Geller said...

I swear to God I thought it was an optical illusion. You know, one of those "if you stand over here, you look enormous, but if you stand over here, you're only two feet tall!" things.

I think I saw that first one in an Escher print.

Wayne Images said...

I love it!

Galadriel said...

I love that staircase to nowhere in the bedroom. Pointless, but I still love it.

And hey, the billiards room is actually quite nice.

With $40+k in property taxes, I don't think climate control is this house's big expense. Ouch.

Val said...

You know, the more I look at it the more it grows on me. If I moved in though, I'd have to live by myself. Not sure I could drag my husband along. Now there's a thought......Maybe a weekend home.

Leoal said...

You know times are tough when Super Mario and Peach have to sell the castle.

http://wiimedia.ign.com/wii/image/article/760/760189/super-mario-64-virtual-console-20070131013941887_640w.jpg

Glory von Hathor said...

The toile-a-rama is superb. The rest, I'm afraid I'm too uncouth to understand.

My first thought was that it was the handiwork of Scottish interior design paramours, TV stars and botox guinea pigs Colin and Justin.

Lady Nerilka said...

The grounds are lovely - and anyone with 7.5 million lying around is certainly going to have the cash to redecorate more in line with their own tastes. Just bought a 111-yr-old Victorian myself which had the front hall painted in International Orange (you know - the color they use on the Golden Gate Bridge) - first thing we did was repaint the hall.

Annarchy said...

I. Love. It. I love the stairway as headboard!

Anonymous said...

I like this house, especially that kitchen floor! You would never have a dull day :)

jsetrum said...

The pool looks nice...



Actually it looks fun, kind of like living at FAO Schwartz.

OSAer said...

I think the attorney's letter was actually to drum up business. It seems as though the house has really made the rounds on the Internet.

Anonymous said...

You know, I like it too. I mean, I really like it. I'd love to live in a house that made me smile.

Jane said...

This truly has to be clicked through to see the rest of the listing pictures.

I am simply speechless. But I'll try:

I--the carp--it--all over--all diff--it's--oh...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Anonymous said...

I like the furniture, I like the wall paper, I like the floors. But I must admit the three of them together make me a little dizzy.

Lisa said...

Wow-- that bedroom blows my mind! The ceilings must be 25'-- the better to accommodate that pointless stairway to nowhere! (note to architect: if you place the windows lower, stairways aren't necessary.)

Katie said...

I wouldn't want to live there all the time (though I do love that kitchen, even the bright tile), if it were a bed and breakfast I'd love to stay there and go back.

The bedroom is the least appealing, but it's an awkward shape anyway, and these were not people who would be happy just leaving it white, obviously. The huge double stair up to the bedroom window is awkward, but oh so fun.

bruce said...

Such an amazing house, I just wish my tastes in decorating could appreciate the enormous time, money and effort that went into it.

Maybe I'm particularly lazy, but if I had to climb that many stairs just to look out the bedroom window, I don't think I'd bother. Perhaps the owners use it as a launching platform for some kinky bedroom gymnastics?

Jorg said...

I'd commit unspeakable crimes for that kitchen.

Angel said...

I hope those are actually windows at the top of the bedroom stairs, and not doors. I don't think I'd make it up there every day in search of my morning coffee..

Stuart said...

My first thought was "they put a bed in the foyer?" but then I realized that they're merely fans of the goodnight soliloquy.

tracEy said...

I love the darn house, especially the kitchen floor..and I don't know that I would change much except for the wallpaper in the bedroom..of course I don't have 7 million dollars so it is a moot point anyway

Land of shimp said...

Wow, they paid someone to do that to that house, did they? That's amazing in and of itself, and I bet it was a pretty chunk of change.

Hey, it's really interesting to look at, and it's different, but taste and decorum just had an apoplectic fit, and lapsed into a life threatening coma. It's like the decorating equivalent of being a Goth. "I'm angsty, and disaffected. I wear only black." only this house is, "I'm playful! I frolic! Despite the architecture there isn't anything stuff about me!"

But in twenty years this stuff is going to make avocado green shag look like the height of taste.

What? That was nice.

At first I liked that they had the guts to just do what they wanted with their money. Then it turned out they paid premium for a decorator, to give the appearance of being freed from the chains of conformity (or whatever the decorator's slogan is).

I hope this doesn't warrant any mean letters for anyone, that's not my aim, but I'd rather not cave to the tantrum throwing ways of Bertie Sendaletter or whatever their lawyer's name is.

pitbull friend said...

Wow! I just looked at some of the other Greenwich places on the realtor's website. The prices drop pretty steeply: $75M, $50M (has indoor AND outdoor pool AND tennis court, which is appropriate because it looks like a dormitory to me), $39M. The amazing thing is that, for $39M, you don't even get to see the house itself: http://www.clevelandduble.com/mlslistings/singlefamily/70819/

Meg said...

I seriously love this house. With all my heart. I'd pony up and extra couple million just to get them to leave it as is.

Elia said...

OMG!!! I LOVE IT!!!! If I had the money (and fewer cats), I'd be moving tomorrow!!!

Chris said...

Yeah, I vote awesome as well ... so you'd spend most of your day a little travel-sick, but what a way to go! Sliding down the banisters to bed, putting on a dressing gown and lying on the poolroom floor to surprise friends ... what fun!
-Chris

Angel said...

@pitbullfriend:

They're all lovely, aren't they? But you know what? Not ONE of them has invited Chair into the lap of luxury. Not one. Hmmph.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think I funded that house with every "Magic Eye" 3D poster I bought in the late 80s.

jackie31337 said...

Glory von Hathor said My first thought was that it was the handiwork of Scottish interior design paramours, TV stars and botox guinea pigs Colin and Justin.

I think even Colin and Justin would advocate toning this one down a bit. There is such a thing as too much personality in decoration when you're trying to appeal to buyers.

Also, I absolutely love Colin and Justin. I would love to meet them some day. I think I would be ashamed to let them see my apartment, though. It's drab, not fab (not much you can do with a rental).

jackie31337 said...

bruce said Perhaps the owners use it as a launching platform for some kinky bedroom gymnastics?

I knew something was missing from the bedroom: it needs a trapeze!

Suka said...

My tactful Dad, of the "if you can't say anything nice"-era would have described it incredulously as "beyond words," or by saying "it sure is something."

Both are true.

Also, people this rich have the luxury of no one having the nuts to dare to question their taste.

Suka said...

Oh, and STUART:
Nice one. I lol'd.

Laura said...

the staircase that doesnt really go anywhere is my favorite part!

i feel like im lookin at something out of a dr suess book! and to be honest..i cant really rock it cuz someone actually had the kahunas and the cash to DO IT!

Dorothy said...

Wow. That should be fun to sell. Maybe a hardcore Scot will come along and the plaid room will be the right tartan.

Athena Misty, aka "GeekGirl" said...

Where do those stairs go - there's a grand staircase going up to look out the window? Is that what I see?

andi said...

I am sensing some photoshop as well... the plaid floor looks a little off.

Consultant Calamities said...

WOWZA.

That first photo looks like Alice in Wonderland.

brunurb said...

anybody else wonder how difficult it would be to turn the staircases into slides? wheeee!!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, If I had a thing for plaid, This would be a very well lovely house.

I only question how many people are really into plaid that much.

Karin said...

It's definitely different. I liked most of it except that blue bedroom with toile walls and rectangle carpet - too past meets modern for me.

jackie31337 said...

brunurb said anybody else wonder how difficult it would be to turn the staircases into slides? wheeee!!!!

OMG, yes! That's what else is missing from the bedroom, a giant slide! I always wanted a slide in my house.

MizIndependent said...

Holy Smokes! Looks kinda like the Partridge Family with some Dr. Seuss mixed in with just a smidge of Martha Stewart and The Price is Right on top!

Jenn said...

I can't decide which would make this listing better: strobes or black lights. Strobe lights would bring it to its full seizure inducing potential but I can't shake the feeling that black lighting would suddenly make it appear to have clean, fluid lines.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe there is enough square footage available in this lovely abode to offer a reasonably bland and sane looking sanctuary to hide in. Where's the broom closet, maybe one could take refuge in there until darkness falls.

theladyjess said...

So a design firm decorated the house... After taking a look at their website http://www.diamondbarattadesign.com/home.php I think they do some amazing things, but they need to edit. Less is more. More just looks like they couldn't decide on what to include so they just worked all their ideas in. They also have a thing for really busy carpet patterns. Everything combined is just too visually over stimulating-- too much going on that I don't know what to look at or focus on.

thewiss said...

I feel as if I have stumbled upon a lost set piece from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

The queer perspective resulting from the lens distortion greatly adds to the mind bending effects of the decor. The end result is that at first glance this listing appears to be a prank listing for a psychedelic dollhouse rather than a serious listing for a multimillion dollar mansion.

The lines on the floor of the pool table room bend as if there is a black hole in the middle of the pool table. The bedroom with the staircase to nowhere appears as if the bed is very tiny relative to the size of the stairs and the fireplace. The sofa against the far wall appears even further out of scale. The photographer who took these and the people who accepted them should both be embarrassed.

sarahelaine said...

ZOMG. I swear to God I had a dream with this very house in it. FREAKKKKY!

Karen said...

Well it's okay. But don't you think the outside needs some work? All the unrelieved green of the lawn and the trees. I think they need some garden gnomes. And plastic flamingos. And a few of those amusing fountains with the statue of the little boy doing a very naughty thing right into the fountain itself. Plus, of course the lack of plastic chairs around the pool is a true faux pas. You would think that with all the money they spent on that decorator the least they could have done was let them spruce up the outside. It would really increase the "curb appeal".

Coree said...

Holy Crap. I first thought I was tripping on some shrooms! Jeez, then I got a headache from all the different patterns!

Anonymous said...

When you scroll, the wallpaper on the top picture pulses!!

Anonymous said...

Diamond & Baratta? I would have said Willy & Wonka myself.