Thursday, May 21, 2009

Isn't it odd and unique?

I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at here. It's a... door? That opens? Onto a wall? With an Iron Maiden poster stuck on a mural and a framed picture tucked kind of behind it? That can't be right, but what can?

Fortunately the listing, found by Michelle in Arizona, explains the other photos. It "Boasts a neo-gothic rock wall in the living room. It would be a great starter home for a new home buyer with the Seattle / grunge upbringing." See? There it is!



Or maybe it isn't. Maybe the top photo is the neo-gothic rock wall. And what's a grunge upbringing? Are people actually raising children in grunge, like bringing them up in a church? (I'm raising my children in grunge, but it's just because I spend all my time on the interweb and none of it cleaning the house.)

But anyway. Come on, the real estate agent's coming over. The least you can do is tuck the mummy back in the sarcophagus. People!

21 comments:

Decadent Housewife said...

I'm outta' breath.

bonnjill said...

Words fail me.

Anonymous said...

Good for someone with a grunge upbringing? Actually, good for someone with a cleaning fetish because that joint is going to need it.

That, a lot of scrubbing, and a whole bunch of paint should fix it right up.

Possibly a bug bomb or two also, because the overall impact of a place that cluttered tends to whisper, "Things scuttle here, yes they do."

Angel said...

Two of those photos have very large orbs. Maybe one of those orbs belongs to the mummy... *runs away*

mudslicker said...

Dude, that painting is totally VAN ART, man!!! I think I saw something like this while standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona....and now it's on Joe Dirt's bedroom door.

As far as the rest of the house; that's not Grunge it's living Spanish moss (Tillandsia usneoides) and right now it makes the Poseidon ballroom blue in the previous house absolutely adorable and precious, "Oh look, the chandeliers are bolted to the floor!"

I suspect a tad bit of a hoarding issue here. Is this the Collyer brothers house?

burhanistan said...

Oh man, I bet there's like a pound of spilled weed in that house scattered about in the carpet and underneath cushions.

Rebecca said...

Never mind the mummy. What about putting that vampire back in the coffin? Or Hannibal up there on the bookshelf back in his padded cage. And those are just from the second photo. At least the skeleton is safely contained in his garden gibbet. Is this Elvira's retirement pad?

bikerchick said...

Soooooooo disappointed they removed the link before I got to feast my eyes on this prize. Cause I've been searching the world over for a home with melted ceiling molding. In the dining room. Melting into vats of whatever grundgers serve.

Stuart said...

Wow. Just ... wow. The WTF factor on this one is way high. I mean high like the people who decorated this.

Alas, the listing has been removed (much like the "neo-gothic rock wall" will be if and when this place is bought).

And of course, "Neo-Gothic Rock Wall" would be a great name for a Icelandic metal band.

Julie said...

That mural...the framed picture is part of the mural. I don't know. It also looks like it's behind a door--see the opened door on the right?

I still have no idea what it is.

Callisto said...

... What the hell? I was going to comment on the plant stuck in the wall/door mirage thing, but then I saw the demon popping out of the wall in the second photo, but THEN I saw whole crapload of other things in the last two photos. And now... Now I... I don't even...

blake said...

It's like a "Wheres Waldo" book for wacky sh*t in a house.

"I can't find waldo, but is that Godzilla on that shelf?"
"Yeah, he's in the room with the one-armed man hanging from the ceiling; not the skeleton room"
"cool"

It's like a haunted house had a 'Going Out of Business' sale.

Austen said...

This is it. Right here. You did it. This is the Platonic ideal of a terrible house listing. This is possibly the best post you will ever make because this is the best house you will ever find. They didn't even put their mummy away.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice the exercise in pic 2 making a break out the door...

I am guessing it isn't used much.

Angel said...

They're so embarrassed, they've deleted the listing.

FunnyGal KAT said...

They should put these owners on one of those shows where they sell their house and then return a few months later to see what the new owners did to it. I can imagine a lot of, "Beige?!? But, it's just so... beige. And they got rid of the mummy?!? On a scale of 1-10, I give this house a zero. These people are boring."

Mandy said...

Somehow "grunge" doesn't seem to fit this house. I think more on the lines of "FREAK OF NATURE!". Yeah, that will do. Will someone please explain to me what in living hell is that on the walls of the dining room? I'm going to have nightmares for ages trying to wrap my brain around the possibilities.

Anonymous said...

Try not to be afraid, Mandy! As creepy as that looks, I think it's just a base coat paint, with some sponging of colors over it, and then someone decided to do that black border sponging to give it that creepy, dungeon look.

It's not going for grunge, it's going for Goth, but either way it's ill-advised. It's supposed to look like ancient, possibly mildewed walls (yeah, no clue why anyone wants that look) but since it's in Arizona I think we're safe in assuming it's just a dramatic paint treatment.

FonHom said...

I know I'm a little late to the party, but I just had to see this place. Here's another link:
http://www.allchandlerrealestate.com/1324772_38064-286-W-PALOMINO-Drive-Unit-22-Building-6-Chandler-AZ-RES_Detail.aspx

This listing dropped refs to "neo-gothic rock wall" and "grunge" but it does have a toilet pic. Bowl is clean, but seat is raised...the better to appreciate the neo-gothic tchotchkes that appear to be stuffed inside.

Style seems to be elder-grunge - Courtney Love in Leisure World - but isn't it too soon?

DoeHands said...

I think "grunge upbringing" refers to the Seattle in the 90's grunge music subculture that was so huge.

here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunge_music

Anonymous said...

What IS that thing hanging from the ceiling? To me it looks like a flying monkey with an AK-47, but I just had eye surgery--may need more after seeing this!